Joined: 09 Jun 2004
Location: the netherlands
|Posted: Wed Apr 15, 2009 1:21 pm Post subject:
|yeah, it can re-trigger but that's not the same as revictimization.
revictimization is when you (by accident or design) bring yourself in situations, relations, where the same type of mechanics operate as was in your original abuse.
Getting triggered from seeing your cousin every week just means you relive the pain that you had then. Ultimately, if your cousing is no threat to you today and he's turned his life around, the whole trigger thing can be a way of moving through the feelings in order to heal from them. Not a bad outcome at all, allthough it's fiendishly hard to actually go into the pain.
As far as loving him: there's no rule that sais you have to hate him. Rightly you hate what he's done, no excuses there. But he's human and as such he makes mistakes. If he owns up to it, changes his life, what reason is there to hang onto hatred?
I think love is a good thing, provided it doesn't mean he get's to do it again.
We don’t see things as they are,
we see them as we are.