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Me, A girl, Sex, and Family
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Rosie
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 02, 2011 6:10 am    Post subject: Me, A girl, Sex, and Family Reply with quote

okay....Nikkita and I have sexual relations quite often. I know that sounds bad and makes me a bit slutty but I cannot help it. The girl has a power over me that I cannot stop nor do I want to. She means more to me than I can explain. but here'st he thing, i have absolutely no problem doing those things with her, or even talking about them in detail. It does not bother me. Not one #*$# bit. I actually like it! I mean...we talk about it openly. We make plans for days when we want to do it and such. She's....shes so great. She has never forced me or guilted me into something I dont want. And if i do it and she knows I am doing it because she wants me to and not because I want to, she stops it immediately and we talk about it. I did have a problem once. Where something got triggered and I had to stop. i put my clothes on and she asked me to talk to her. All that could come out of my mouth were bad things about me and she said no to each. I said i was fat and ugly she said i was amazing and beautiful no matter what. I said my body was disgusting and she told me i was perfect. It was new and I ended up smiling thorugh wet eyes and holding onto her. She would never hurt me with sex. Ever.

I struggle talking about this stuff with Taubah. i'm afraid she'll hate me or think i'm dirty or something. But she is my mother and i think she'll help me. i've even joked and teased he rabout sexual things with her husband and such and it doesnt bother me that much.

but anyone beyond those people, i feel sick. i get mad. my sister and all of them were just talking abou tgiving blowjobs and cum and all of that crap and i got up, grabbed my plate and tried to walk out. they told me to sit downand mom said something about dripping all day and i told her to shut up and she told me to grow up. i mean.....we are eating dinner...and thats what we talk about? i mean talk about sex you should be open about it but getting into details about your sex life with...it disgusted me. i dont understand why i was told to grow up. i dont want know that my sister gives joe blow jobs or that mom drips for the rest of the day or whatever. why is it necesarry to spill such details? especially over dinner?

i'm confused. i just dont understand. why do i need to grow up?
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Flyingwithgrace
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 02, 2011 6:17 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

You don't need to grow up Rosie, they do. That's the sort of thing middle school kids who find their daddy's dirty magazines talk about behind the school building, not something people talk about at the dinner table. I'd like to give your mom and your sister a good hard smack upside the head. There is nothing wrong with how you feel. Nothing. I would have felt the same way.
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Rosie
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 02, 2011 6:20 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

i just dont understand. apparently there is something wrong with me forthem all to be angry at me for wanting out of the conversation.
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Flyingwithgrace
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 02, 2011 6:22 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Rosie, there is NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU! Nothing. Normal adults don't do that sort of thing. Hell even the people that I hang out with wouldn't and they are not exactly highclass type people. It's not you, it's them.
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Rosie
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 02, 2011 6:26 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I dont understand any of this. I don't understand why Taubah doesnt want me with nikki or if its the sex she doesnt want. i dont understand why im unable to talk abou tthings with certain people. i just dont get it.
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Flyingwithgrace
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 02, 2011 6:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's just the way you are. It makes you uncomfortable. Maybe you should just ask Taubah what it is she objects to, that would be the easiest way to know. And she's not going to bite you, you know that.
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Rosie
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 02, 2011 6:37 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

i dunno. the way she said that i should tell nikki that she needs to be nervous...it scared me.
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Flyingwithgrace
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 02, 2011 6:46 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Rosie, Taubah loves you. And she's acting like a mom is supposed to act. If I told her I was with somebody she'd react the same way. Don't read something into it that isn't there, ok? Just TALK to her.
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Rosie
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 02, 2011 6:49 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I know...i'm just....i'm afraid.
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Flyingwithgrace
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 02, 2011 6:50 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I know what fear tastes like Tasha. Believe me. But you have to face your fears sometimes. You guys taught me that.
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