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Rosie
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PostPosted: Sat Jan 29, 2011 12:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

not your mother. #$$% your mother. #$$% her and her #$$% righteous #$# mother #$$% horse.

but ther eare other places. research codie please. dont you dare just lie down and die like this. you can hold on to your pride but while gripping it use it to help yourself get in a place where you can have a chance.


http://cheyenneinterfaith.org/
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Rosie
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PostPosted: Sat Jan 29, 2011 12:11 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

*hugs* i love you so much. i hav eto go to work though. just give us a chance and try okay? just please be willing to try so that we can help you. there has to be something.
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Flyingwithgrace
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PostPosted: Sat Jan 29, 2011 12:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

well you said family. And I couldn't have put that better myself.

this is why I have stayed away from here. Because when I'm around you are upset. I don't like that. I want you to be happy Rosie.
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Rosie
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PostPosted: Sat Jan 29, 2011 12:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

i meant us. here. taubah, me...us. we are you family.

i'm upset because im not willing to just let this happen. i'm going to reasearch some things tonight. i'm going to write some letters.

*hugs you so tight* tonight imagine me hugging you and holding you and telling you it's going to be okay. you're my sister and i will find a way. okay? I will. i promise you i will.
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Flyingwithgrace
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PostPosted: Sat Jan 29, 2011 12:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The point that you both are missing is that I am not your responsibility. I'm not. I am responsible for whatever happens to me. Or doesn't for that matter. I'm a pathetic excuse for a human being but there seems to be some reason I'm still here. I guess if I ever figure out what that is then I'll be able to do something.
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Rosie
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PostPosted: Sat Jan 29, 2011 12:20 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

no. it does matter. but you are sick, you are hurting, and you need help. and if there is a way i can help you, i'm going to do it. or at least try. i've got to go. i love you codie. dont you ever forget that.
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Flyingwithgrace
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PostPosted: Sat Jan 29, 2011 7:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I won't forget Rosie. Love is too precious to me to ever take it for granted or to forget where it comes from. I love you too.
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Rosie
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PostPosted: Sat Jan 29, 2011 9:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

thank you my twin sister. *hugs* I never ever ever forgot about you. Never. I love you, Codie.
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Taubah
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 30, 2011 6:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hello Codie love.


The thing that you seem to misunderstand dear, is that our need to help you is purely selfish. It makes me feel good to know you are safe. It hurts me to know you are hurt. That is a purely one-sided and selfish love in that, it isn't that i only want you happy. But that it makes me happy in turn for you to be happy.

The thing that you are not getting is that, You are needed just as much as you need. You are precious just as much as you perceive others to be...

Sweetie, i know what it means to hurt someone you love.... I have recently hurt my husband very..very deeply. I've hurt many people, shamefully in my 27 years of life... and have done things that... i will never speak on. I am very sure that everyone HERE can relate to most of what you are saying. But you feel the need to stand alone, because standing alone you feel strong and able to over come.... But what you fail to see, is that standing alone pushes away those who yearn to be near you. doesn't just keep you away from those you wish to be near, but are afraid to hurt and misuse or abuse, or loose... Standing alone keeps you secluded from those who flourish around you.

You, my love, have an intoxicating light from you that nourishes in many ways the hearts of those who love you... And when it isn't around it dims where your presence should be... Us wanting you around and wanting to ' help you' isn't charity... You allowing for our help is your charity to us.

All my love.
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Marcusaralius76
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Joined: 28 Jan 2011
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 30, 2011 8:50 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Taubah, I honestly, truly, sincerely, could not have said that better myself.

Codie, I WANT you to have a better life, I WANT you to live near me, and work at a place where i can visit you on occasion. I WANT to snuggle with you by a fire while watching a good movie.

I know what you're going to say, what you've said to me a million times before, so I'll just say this now: what we want is all we have. And right now, I want three things:
1) To get through college.
2) To keep the faith.
3) To have you near me.

Right now, that's all i want in life.
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