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Erico
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Joined: 24 Oct 2010
Posts: 124

PostPosted: Thu Dec 30, 2010 7:53 am    Post subject: Just a vent Reply with quote

Again, I'm having a hard time caring. I've known for quite some time that she suffers from a ton of Disassociation. I've continued to wonder how much of it is just Lying. How much is lying to herself. Even the dreaded Dissociative Identity Disorder.

I have felt like there were moments where she was very lucid... very much a person I loved.

Over Christmas things were Lame I did a good job just taking off and having a decent time with family and friends. She was filled with a constant stream of nonsense. She also made the choice to not see me.

After I got home from spending time with a friend on Sunday. During the drive I realized. What the hell!

I threw together a list:

You have now decided that we should see other people, I don't want to see other people... which means "you want to see other people".
You never could sleep here.
You never wanted to see me more than on the weekends.
It doesn't actually seem like you even like me, Let alone love me. I've always wondered if you are even capable.

Her response was..... "All of this just shows you have abandonment issues... SEE SEE SEE........ IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT. maybe this isn't working for me."

For the most part I just disconnected. "I don't think I want to see you again" I'm not sure I want to spend 50 years.. not seeing my GF for Christmas. and... I told her for 2 months that it wasn't working. She wanted to keep working on it... but mostly working on "My abandoning her"

I was mostly just hoping that she would be on time, show up when she said she would.

I was angry... still am. I wasn't even sure what to think about my anger.

Sometimes it just feels like another reason for her to sit around and feel bad for herself... cry herself to sleep, for no reason. So that someone will feel bad for her and rescue her or give her something for nothing.

I don't know. Having a hard time caring.
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Erico
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Joined: 24 Oct 2010
Posts: 124

PostPosted: Thu Dec 30, 2010 8:00 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Seems like what I'm struggling with is...

I want to "be there for her".... But much of this stuff is so Over the top.... it is ridiculous. It's honestly impossible to have a real discussion, argument or disagreement with her.

it is just.... I don't even know what she is trying to say. Except the obvious.... which she chokes on.
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