Community Forums
Forum Index FAQFAQ SearchSearch MemberlistMemberlist UsergroupsUsergroups ProfileProfile Log in to check your private messagesLog in to check your private messages Log inLog in RegisterRegister
How do we handle abuser as a family?

Post new topic   Reply to topic    S&F's Forum Index -> Family Problems
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message

Joined: 04 May 2011
Posts: 1

PostPosted: Wed May 04, 2011 7:21 pm    Post subject: How do we handle abuser as a family? Reply with quote

My nephew abused my niece when she was between 5-13 years old when he was 12-20 years old. She is now 18. The police have been informed only recently when she decide to tell but cannot prosecute yet, not strong enough evidence only her word. My sister told 2 of us aunts (the sister of the nephew does not know and he does not know we know yet) to help protect our kids. He had moved away and is now back in the area which is what brought my niece to tell. Our dilemma is how to handle him right now since he doesn't know we know and the police have not confronted him yet. If we aunts approach him, it could hurt a legal case and upset my niece who is the victim and just dealing with the problem. It would also be dangerous to my mom who is elderly and dealing with the recent passing of my father. Two of us would like to confront him and tell him he is no longer welcome at family gatherings AT MINIMUM. We feel eventually this will all come out and will break up the family as I am fairly sure his mom and dad will not believe it. We are also concerned because he has a daughter who is just turning one. Where can we get help and guidance as a family? The niece is still trying to avoid dealing with this. The police are not able to talk to us because it is her case and she is 18 now. Where do we go and what do we do? How have others dealt with this? We feel he should be the one to make excuses to not be at family functions if this is not made public to the family right away. Right now we are having to see him at these gatherings and it is awful.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message

Joined: 21 Jun 2020
Posts: 8

PostPosted: Sun Jun 21, 2020 9:44 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Interesting, and it's hard for me to imagine this scenario or understand in order to give you advice since eveything is flipped in my case. There are many abusers in my family so, if anything, I opt out of family gatherings to not deal with the emotional chaos and confusion. They spread rumors about me to make me look like a bad person and seem to love the drama of it all, so I kind of imagine that they must be happy I'm not there. So unfortunately, it was easier to put myself in the nephew's shoes since it seems the world is against him. I don't know what he did, though.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic    S&F's Forum Index -> Family Problems All times are GMT + 4 Hours
Page 1 of 1

Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum

Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2002 phpBB Group

Site by Flashfire Designs
Copyright 1993-2003, Survivors & Friends

Help Out
Make a Donation Order Flowers S&F Bookstore
About Us
General Info Staff Mission Statement Contact Us
Awards Web Rings