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My thoughts on the Holidays

 
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How do you feel about Christmas time?
It's the best time of year
0%
 0%  [ 0 ]
It's okay, but it could be better
40%
 40%  [ 4 ]
More depressing than happy...
20%
 20%  [ 2 ]
It's the worst time of year
20%
 20%  [ 2 ]
Who cares?
20%
 20%  [ 2 ]
Total Votes : 10

Author Message
knelson
Site Admin
Site Admin


Joined: 06 Dec 2003
Posts: 144
Location: U.S.

PostPosted: Sat Dec 06, 2003 8:08 am    Post subject: My thoughts on the Holidays Reply with quote

I decided to add this forum, because I know that for many people, the holidays are a time of grief, and that Christmas is--in fact--the time of year with the highest suicide rate. Why do you think this is?

You look around you, as you go Christmas shopping, perhaps. You see other people looking so happy, and you feel in your own life all the things that are missing. You think about the holidays that weren't happy for you as a child...you think of the family members who are no longer around...the things left unsaid...the things left undone. At a time of year where you are "supposed" to feel happy...why is it that you can only think of the things that are wrong with your life at this moment.

So, I created this forum so that everyone can discuss the holidays, whether good or bad, so that we all know that (even in the struggles) we are not alone.

I pray that God will bless all of you this holiday, and will show you His love, and give you His joy...in (perhaps) the absence of any other joy in your life.

Kevin


Last edited by knelson on Thu Jan 15, 2004 5:34 am; edited 1 time in total
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annie
S&F Prez
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Joined: 06 Dec 2003
Posts: 23
Location: U.S.

PostPosted: Sat Dec 06, 2003 11:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank you Kevin for the holiday forum. (He is my son by the way! Very Happy I used to dread holidays. Then afer being in therapy and dealing with issues, we became part of another family that we had known for many years and were already bonded with. Due to the rejection of my family of origin, they took us under their wings and had us over for holidays. It was great. And in this family, the priority isn't buying gifts, etc., it is in enjoying each other. They did the white elephant gift exchange which was a blast and so low pressure. You didn't have to stress about what to get someone or how much to pay. They kept the price down to under $10.00. The meals were low key as well, which meant the ladies weren't cooking all day and wore out. Since we began doing this, I find the holidays much less depressing, and even fun.

Before we moved from the state of Washington, we also went to our church's Christmas Dessert. They always had great dramas and the place was beautifully decorated with valet parking, etc. We'd get a whole table and invite friends to come, and then when I got back with my family, I started getting a table with them and that was how we'd celebrate Christmas with those we loved. It became our holiday tradition, which I miss now that we've moved. So now I will go try to figure out how I'm supposed to vote. I hope you all enjoy the new forums here. Just remember to keep us informed of any problems since I'm not always able to check on them all the time. Have a great holiday season.
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Tony24
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 16, 2004 3:07 pm    Post subject: UnRegister me please Reply with quote

because i dont feel like i belong here because i went to post a new post and it said some thing like i have to be a staff well i feel like a site like this people should beable to make a new post when they wanted 2 so please unregister me i will find a new site thanks tony
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knelson
Site Admin
Site Admin


Joined: 06 Dec 2003
Posts: 144
Location: U.S.

PostPosted: Sat Jan 17, 2004 12:19 am    Post subject: Re: UnRegister me please Reply with quote

Tony24,

Before I unregister you, I just wanted to let you know that you don't have to be staff. You have to be part of a usergroup in order to post to one of the specific forums. Many female survivors feel threatened when men come onto their forum board and start posting replies, and likewise other forums don't like it when the female survivors come in and take over their forum. So, we've created separate Usergroups, so that each group can have their own forum. Whichever usergroup you would like to be a part of--you simply sign up for it, and I pretty much approve everyone into one usergroup.

I have posted the information on how to do this in the Getting Started Forum area.

Kevin

Tony24 wrote:
because i dont feel like i belong here because i went to post a new post and it said some thing like i have to be a staff well i feel like a site like this people should beable to make a new post when they wanted 2 so please unregister me i will find a new site thanks tony
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knelson
Site Admin
Site Admin


Joined: 06 Dec 2003
Posts: 144
Location: U.S.

PostPosted: Sat Jan 17, 2004 1:07 am    Post subject: Re: UnRegister me please Reply with quote

Tony24,

Because of your comments, and there are probably others who didn't understand the whole usergroup thing (perhaps why it's been so quiet), I have made two forums for every topic. One that is for Female Survivors, Male Survivors, Partners, and Parents, and then a second for each of those topics that is for those who are in the usergroup to post. This way, people can immediately post after being registered, but if they'd like something a little more private...they can go into the "Female Survivors Only" forum where only those in their usergroup can post a reply.

Kevin

Tony24 wrote:
because i dont feel like i belong here because i went to post a new post and it said some thing like i have to be a staff well i feel like a site like this people should beable to make a new post when they wanted 2 so please unregister me i will find a new site thanks tony
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ivonne
Posting Freak
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Joined: 09 Jun 2004
Posts: 5874
Location: the netherlands

PostPosted: Tue Jun 15, 2004 2:10 am    Post subject: X-mas Reply with quote

X-mas in Holland is very much about family. Since a few years I have part of my family back. I have confronted my mom with the abuse (the early years he was a friend of the family, later he married my sister) Her first reaction made good all those years of alienation: She called him an Evil or Very Mad and was very Mad angry at him.
Later on she wanted to know the how and whatnot. How often and did he take my virginity as well (he took that so long ago it was never an issue for me). There were speculative questions as well: If he hadn't would I have been heterosexual? (how would I know?) Razz
Anyway, christmas (my wife and) I spend with my mom and I am sorta happy about it. Her first reaction is what got to me. She believed me and though there is a lot she can't understand (like how a 12 year ald girl cannot be held even partially responseable) she understood on a very basic level that I had been hurt. It's not much but it is enough.
Ivonne
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Meena
Junior Member
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Joined: 08 Jul 2008
Posts: 58

PostPosted: Sat Sep 13, 2008 12:26 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Christmas for me is like the Hans Christian Anderson story of the Little Match Girl.

At one point in the story, the little girl stares through a window at the feast, warm fire, the tree and presents and experiences Christmas but only as someone who watches but cannot take part.

Family think I am making my situation worse by spending it alone but to be in a room and not connect with all the laughter made me feel so much was wrong with me that I almost went through with a suicide.

Now I enjoy a big breakfast, multiple calls to send good wishes to everyone, a walk around the neighbourhood past the church bells and carrolers, a lunch followed by films I've looked forward to or enjoy.

I go to bed without any distress and the peace of mind that I have the freedom to cry at any point in the day.
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phoenix soul
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Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 1160
Location: michigan

PostPosted: Sat Sep 13, 2008 1:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

i remember dreading Christmas as a child i never looked forward to it in way i still don't but i have happy healthy unharmed children now so have to make a go of it and make it the best Christmas i am capable of giving them, sure there may be times when it's not the best, they don't get all they asked for, but from my background i think i do pretty darn good.

phoenix
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Maria13
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Joined: 23 Apr 2018
Posts: 21

PostPosted: Tue Apr 24, 2018 3:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

One of your favorite holidays.
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