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how to know who is safe to talk to?

 
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mwendy
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Joined: 10 Apr 2009
Posts: 83

PostPosted: Wed Apr 15, 2009 5:26 am    Post subject: how to know who is safe to talk to? Reply with quote

The last person I told in person went and told someone who confronted me about it the subject way off guard and I had to deny it even though it was true. I am so afraid to tell anyone new in person because I am afraid they will just tell someone else and ruin my life again. I have since forgave the person who I told who couldn't keep my secret because I believe that she was honestly worried about me. I have told my best friend, but she has a child now and I try not to bring it up as much anymore. All I know is I am scared to go to sleep right now and probably won't be able to for a a few hours!
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ivonne
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Joined: 09 Jun 2004
Posts: 5874
Location: the netherlands

PostPosted: Wed Apr 15, 2009 1:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's safer to tell everybody so you don't get confronted out of the blue.

Barring that, and I know that can be a bit much to start with, you could try to ensure safety by asking that your secret not be told and telling them why. That you're trying to protect yourself that way. If you are open about your fears, they can be open about their concerns and well, if they choose to tell someone anyway, they can do so openly. That way at least you know that they've told.

You can gain some insight into whether a person can be trusted by looking at how they treat other peoples confidences. If someone shares a lot with you about others, likely they'll do that with your secrets as well.

hope you find a way to sleep... (been there...)

Ivonne
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we see them as we are.
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"Empty Heart"
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Joined: 25 Mar 2009
Posts: 572
Location: East Coast

PostPosted: Wed Apr 15, 2009 5:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi there,
I totally understand how you feel about who to tell and trust. My problem is I don't want to tell, I don't want people to know. Its really easy on this website because I can't see peoples faces and I can't read into what they are thinking. But the other thing about here is everyone has been or going threw the same thing....it feels safe. So use us, feel safe here and then it will be easier when you get stronger to trust people again and you will know who to trust.

You can trust me as I already know I can trust you.....we are friends Very Happy
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mwendy
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Joined: 10 Apr 2009
Posts: 83

PostPosted: Wed Apr 15, 2009 9:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

yes we are friends Smile I do trust you too. I don't want to tell the world or anything but in the event I would find it necessary to tell someone in the future is what was referring to. I don't really care what people think about me if they know as long as it is not family members b/c they will just blame me.
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mwendy
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Joined: 10 Apr 2009
Posts: 83

PostPosted: Wed Apr 15, 2009 9:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

and yes if someone does share alot about other people to me that is a dead give away they are not to be trusted w/ this sort of thing. Thanks and I did finally get some sleep Smile
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