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Do you consider yourself healed?
Yes, totally, right as rain, never felt better
8%
 8%  [ 3 ]
Yes, but I will bear the scars for life, like a handicap
13%
 13%  [ 5 ]
No, and I think I will never heal completely
47%
 47%  [ 17 ]
No, but I think I will be completely healed some day
30%
 30%  [ 11 ]
Other, please explain...
0%
 0%  [ 0 ]
Total Votes : 36

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ivonne
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 12, 2005 10:01 pm    Post subject: healed Reply with quote

This topic came up in the partners section. When is a survivor healed? Is there such a thing? Is healing possible, and if so, can anybody heal?

I am just wondering weather anyone considers themselves healed and if so, what was the moment you decided that you were healed. What was the first thing you noticed that was different about your self or your surroundings?

As per usual I will try to start this one with my own personal story. My therapist told me in our last session that she was considering cutting back on our sessions and perhaps ending them. I told her I was feeling a bit too shaky for that yet, but yes, I do recognize that I feel like I am healed. It took me by surprise really, to say that out loud.

She read to me the goals and the self-description I had come in with. The goals had been accomplished (except for one about my dad, we will be working on that yet) and the description of who I was doesn't fit me anymore. I am not living in a fog, I have a clear sense of purpose in my life, I feel loved and while still wandering around a bit, I no longer feel lost.
The other thing she asked was if I had let go of my abuser. I had to think on that a bit. Do I still hold on to my anger towards him? No, I don't. What he did was horrendous and reprehensible, but I feel towards him as I do towards any abuser. My personal ties to him have indeed been severed and if I were to meet him I am no longer afraid. I am no longer so angry I could spit him in the eye. I feel the righteous indignation of him disrespecting the boundaries of a small child. I no longer feel like I am that small child. I am an adult, after 41 years (birthday coming up soon Wink ) I have grown up.

So am I healed? I think so. There will allways be scar tissue, but if someone triggers me today I can recognize it as being triggered and I search for the hidden pain, the past coming alive in my overemotional reaction. I can and I do face the pain as it comes up. There will probably always be instances that the pain comes up. I am able to cope with the pain, not hiding from it. That is what I consider healed.

Ivonne
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?
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Joined: 16 Jun 2004
Posts: 43
Location: Midwest

PostPosted: Mon Feb 14, 2005 10:59 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Cool Vonnie~ I am glad you are progressing in your therapy this well! Congratulations and know that I am thinking good thoughts for you hon. I wish you all the love and luck in the world that your new life will bloom and grow with more happiness and security and love. I am sorry for losing touch with you and what is going on in your life . Crying or Very sad I think of you everyday though . ~~^~^ ~^~~^ You will always be in my heart .

Hugz~
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You do what you have to do when you have to do it ~ thats what we did to survive our abuse.
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MyThought
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 29, 2005 11:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

..

Last edited by MyThought on Thu Feb 23, 2006 8:57 pm; edited 1 time in total
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ivonne
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 30, 2005 2:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yeah Terri,
It feels good not to be the only one anymore saying she is right as rain, never felt better.
Have you had this happen: You tell someone you are healed and they try to convince you there is no such thing? I have had several of those encounters, the good news is, they can't even touch my sureness that I am healed. I don't cave to the pressure. It is not just semantics either, I feel truly healed. Even knowing there might in the future be triggers out there and there might be more to process. I know how to recognize triggers and I don't let them determine who I am anymore.

Anyway, the bad news is, it seems a lot of people think you can't heal from something like sexual child abuse. That makes me feel sad, because it is a denial of everything I have worked hard to accomplish as well as being a sad and discouraging message to people out there still healing.

For all you guys and gals out there: IT IS WONDERFUL. Healing is possible and it feels wonderful.

Ivonne
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HEAVEN
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Joined: 17 Nov 2006
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Location: toronto

PostPosted: Sat Nov 25, 2006 8:13 am    Post subject: healing Reply with quote

There is Hope!!Will I heal? Maybe,probably, Hopefully! Willingly Yes! Ablility right now NO
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ivonne
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PostPosted: Sat Nov 25, 2006 3:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The good thing about ability is that it is a learned skill... Very Happy

Yes healling is possible and leading a normal healthy life with everything in it is possible.

It's a lot of work and it also takes realizing that there are bumps and scratches on everyone's life, not just survivor's lives. There will be the bumps and scratches. Those are normal human experience. The past will one day stay in the past though and not interfere with your everyday life. It can be done...

Ivonne
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belthane
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Joined: 25 Oct 2007
Posts: 181
Location: the netherlands

PostPosted: Thu Nov 15, 2007 3:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Today I really can feel that it is possible! Know there is much te be looked at (english??), but I really feel I made steps these weeks. And great part by coming here, reading here and accept all the loving kindness, understanding, the warmth!
Here in the Netherlands it's a day to celebrate: nice sunny, very cold, but shining! Girls, today I drink my coffee and eat my coockies for the healing of all of us! On a bright and healed future. We really are fantastic women, strong and brave. And we do have the world something to tell!!
(And sorry men, but for me, it's a woman issue, I have to reconquer my femininity, therefore...
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ivonne
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 15, 2007 3:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

That's such a joyful feeling Belthane, congrats!

(I'm not sure what you're apologizing for)

Ivonne
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runningfast
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Joined: 16 Oct 2008
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PostPosted: Mon Oct 20, 2008 5:21 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

wow I can only imagine the day that I will be able to say that I am totaly healed. The way I feel right now is far from healed. I know I am on the path. I know it is accomplishable. I know I want it. I know I have friends who affirm me in it. Healing hurts as much as abuse does. Not the finally healed but the healing. Some days I think I can't take the process but I believe it is attainable.

For now it just sucks.
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Lostson
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Joined: 15 Sep 2008
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Location: New Mexico

PostPosted: Sun Oct 26, 2008 8:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You know I read the question and voted no and I never will be but after reading your post I think there might be hope for me. I know that it is a long off goal but perhaps there is hope. It has been my experience that this road is long and slow going just when I think I have stopped up one hole in the dam three more pop out. Iím sure fully healed is different for everybody and to be honest I wouldnít even know what that would look like for me. But heck I would be fine with reaching the point my wife has gotten to. My wife is more healed than I feel I will ever be she is at peace with what happened to her. She says the nightmares donít visit her every night and she doesnít get triggered by the little things anymore. I donít know how she did it but she did and with no therapy! She is amazing
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