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No resolution - trial continued since Fall 2006

 
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chicopee
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Joined: 24 Mar 2008
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 1:07 am    Post subject: No resolution - trial continued since Fall 2006 Reply with quote

I'm at my wits end - I've just about lost every bit of energy I have to go any further. I walked in on my x-husband molesting our daughter in our home in the summer of 2006. I facilitated filing the report and my daughter had her forensic exam, which came back positive. This has gone across 2 states and included an extradition. Plea agreement in first state consisted of 6 months in prison, registration as a sexual offender and dropping the charges in the other state. The first state botched the investigation horribly - they executed a search warrant and overlooked a used condom on the office desk. I had to call a deputy to come out and retrieve it.

My daughter acted out at school in November 2006 and now, the defense is attacking her creditability since there is no physical evidence to support the allegations in that state. She lied during an investigation - she had gotten into a fight at school....so, now they're saying that she can't be honest during a trial (a year+ later). The prosecutor is wanting to dismiss the 3 A Felony charges if he can't get the motion-in-limine to throw out my daughter's alleged case of assault on another student. My daughter was full of rage at everyone - including me. I had taken her Dad away from her and she said that she could have put up with getting molested until she had graduated from high school. My x-husband had obviously crossed the line with her - from her report, she'd been molested without me knowing anything for several years. I had a career and was working 50-60 hours/wk. The SOB was charming, believable, and well liked - acted like the best husband any woman could want/need - I can honestly say that our intimacy never faltered in all the years together! Now, I know I was a fool - I always thought he was too good to be true. We were together for more than 15 years.

The assault case was dismissed - but, the juvenile judge had to forward the paperwork to my x-husband in jail. His public defender got a copy of her "intake report". So, they're saying that I must have been abusing her at home for her to act out at school. I've never abused my daughter!

After the assault at school, my daughter, then 13 was put on psychotropic drugs for her rage, anxiety, and nightmares (to include an anti-psychotic). Now she's been on the honor roll at school for 3 quarters now, played basketball, track - no problems at home or at school. But- I can't get through to the court in this other state that she's not on medication now and still in counseling AND she's changed. Besides all of this trial stuff hanging undone, she's doing great & has a bright future. We're both in counseling and have been since this all happened.

If anyone here can help give me opinions, suggestions, etc - please let me know. I'm disabled with rheumatoid arthritis and we're living on just my fixed income. I have protection orders. We've discovered lately that we're not doing too bad - actually, we have many things to be grateful about.

BTW, my x's family is coming after us. We've been burglarized 2xs, I've received numerous magazine subscriptions that I did not request, and almost 2 years of harrassing phone calls. He's been in jail this entire time - can't manage to get his family to bail him out. His family has called all of my friends to try to get them to think that I made my daughter report molestation to get rid of him. When my RA kicked in and I couldn't work any longer, he was my care taker! He did all of our shopping, went to work, and did most of the cooking/cleaning.

HELP!!!! Please put us in your prayers.
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PsĪlo
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Joined: 04 Sep 2004
Posts: 52
Location: Sweden

PostPosted: Tue Apr 22, 2008 8:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh good lord what a trying time for you and your daughter..
My mother was bullied to settle out of court with my father way back when and i never got a day in court.
Stay strong..

It really does help to post here, please take care


Lots of love, Johanna


(your post must have been missed by some being all the way down here in the forum.. )
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chicopee
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Joined: 24 Mar 2008
Posts: 5

PostPosted: Tue Apr 22, 2008 9:14 pm    Post subject: Reply to post Reply with quote

Thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers..... Chicopee

PsĪlo wrote:
Oh good lord what a trying time for you and your daughter..
My mother was bullied to settle out of court with my father way back when and i never got a day in court.
Stay strong..

It really does help to post here, please take care


Lots of love, Johanna


(your post must have been missed by some being all the way down here in the forum.. )
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lilkitty12
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Joined: 13 Jun 2008
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 13, 2008 6:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

PsĪlo wrote:
Oh good lord what a trying time for you and your daughter..
My mother was bullied to settle out of court with my father way back when and i never got a day in court.
Stay strong..

It really does help to post here, please take care


Lots of love, Johanna


(your post must have been missed by some being all the way down here in the forum.. )
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chicopee
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Joined: 24 Mar 2008
Posts: 5

PostPosted: Fri Jun 13, 2008 10:20 pm    Post subject: re re re Reply with quote

Thanks Johanna for the love and care. We really appreciate it. The saga continues now in the other state.....just maybe we'll have a day in court. It's soooooo hard to live with the unresolved. The big blessing of this all thus far is the 5 year order of protection - at the end of 5, my daughter will be 19. All I've prayed for is a way to be able to get her from HS graduation into college without influence. She's doing incredibly well in spite of him.

We are though having to sell her horse. I can't afford to go through another winter of buying/putting up hay. He's well taken care of at this point, but we've had to find another home for him. I believe this could be a "last straw". I do hope that selling him isn't going to put her into a tailspin. She's had him 6 years and he's been the love of her life....my heart breaks thinking of this. Without 2 incomes, it's impossible to do it. I can't compromise his quality of care one iota. I just pray to God that this all works out. I've held out keeping him until the last possible time since the arrest.

Thanks for thinking of us....
Chicopee

lilkitty12 wrote:
PsĪlo wrote:
Oh good lord what a trying time for you and your daughter..
My mother was bullied to settle out of court with my father way back when and i never got a day in court.
Stay strong..

It really does help to post here, please take care


Lots of love, Johanna


(your post must have been missed by some being all the way down here in the forum.. )
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arielrose
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Joined: 11 Oct 2009
Posts: 14

PostPosted: Sun Oct 25, 2009 9:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The mother faces such changes and challenges in the face of incest. I understand how difficult it is to live with the lies and the x's family telling more and the courts crazy way of protecting children.

they do not in my opinion protect children really. I found the System to be far more frustrating then just living my life with my children. as best I could.

My daughters were forced to see there Offender monthly even if supervised it caused much grief in there lifes for years they are now young adults and can say no to him themselves - thank God.

I sympathize with you i wish there were answers - legal protectors to really help. where is the SUV when you need them in real life?

I have a forum for non offending parents and their personaly struggles outside of the survivors if you wish to join us it is just beginning and will go live in jan 10 But a small beta group is forming.

Parents suffer fromthe trauma of incest in a very different way and sometimes you cant let the feellingsout completely in a survivors forum since you still want to protect them fromy our own pains. http://arielssolace.org
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