Community Forums
Forum Index FAQFAQ SearchSearch MemberlistMemberlist UsergroupsUsergroups ProfileProfile Log in to check your private messagesLog in to check your private messages Log inLog in RegisterRegister
Haunted on Halloween
Goto page 1, 2  Next
 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    S&F's Forum Index -> Female Survivors
View previous topic :: View next topic  

Did I do the right thing?
yes.
100%
 100%  [ 3 ]
no.
0%
 0%  [ 0 ]
Total Votes : 3

Author Message
Rosie
Posting Freak
Posting Freak


Joined: 30 Aug 2006
Posts: 7058

PostPosted: Fri Nov 02, 2007 2:02 am    Post subject: Haunted on Halloween Reply with quote

Two years ago yesterday, I turned my brother in for raping me. But a girl told me she was raped the night before. I didn't know if she was kidding or not so I did the ,undoubtably, right thing and turned it into the office. Today, I am getting harassed for doing this. Her friends are coming up to me "Did you turn her into the office?"

"yes."
"It's not the truth though."
"Well then that's her fault not mine."
"You shouldn't have turned her in."
"She shouldn't lie about things like that."
"Stop being such a #@$%. It was a joke."


I can understand making jokes but saying "I was raped" when you weren't. That's not funny. It's cruel and it hurts.

So, not only am I being depressed with being called a bad person for telling about a joke, the thoughts and memories of that halloween night are back and haunting me. I thought I was over this. I really thought that I was. I've felt good all week but not yesterday and not today. Today, I haven't done a thing in school. I doodled then I talked. I talked back to the teachers. It's not funny to me or anyone.

I told my mom about it last night because it was bothering me. She said I did the right thing with turning her in. But everyone is so mad at me. I don't understand why. I was never told that it was a joke. my sister had to open her mouth and tell the girl that I turned her in so everyone knows. Mom told me not to tell anyone i did it because she knew that this would happen but my sister went and did it. So, now it's gonna be hell at school for a while. It sucks.

I mean, what did i do wrong? I told what she said to me. Hwo is that wrong? I did it for her protection and if she lied, she needs to learn what happens when she does that. She lied about soemthing this serious and she needs to learn what a big deal this is. You just don't say that #*$#. I mean, come on. That's rude and cruel...now i'm mad. I better stop ranting I think.
_________________
http://tashabauer.daportfolio.com/

Almost scary isn't it?
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website MSN Messenger
ivonne
Posting Freak
Posting Freak


Joined: 09 Jun 2004
Posts: 5874
Location: the netherlands

PostPosted: Fri Nov 02, 2007 3:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm on the fence about it Rosie,

Did she tell you in confidence? Did you tell her you were going to tell? Did you ask her to go into the office herself?

I think it's difficult to tell right from wrong in the best of circumstances, I don't actually believe there is such a thing. But in communications it seems always best to go for like a maximum openness. So if you were going to tell, then it would have been better to tell her that you would. That way, since it was a joke, she might have stopped you.

Anyway, I'm not going to vote cause there is no right or wrong, we all feel our way around the world and its issue's.

Ivonne
_________________
We dont see things as they are,
we see them as we are.
-Anas Nin
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website AIM Address
Rosie
Posting Freak
Posting Freak


Joined: 30 Aug 2006
Posts: 7058

PostPosted: Fri Nov 02, 2007 5:13 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

She didn't tell me in confidence. That's why I thought it was weird. I thought she was lying but I wasn't sure. It was in the morning at school at the breakfast table. She just kinda said "hey tasha, Jacob *is a fake name* raped me last night. I thought you'd like to know." I couldn't tell if she was lying or not. It took me all day to finally decide that it'd be better off to report it.

Some of the other girls heard her say it and she said it later on in her English class. I thought about it and another girl that heard her say it is in my Geometry class with the girl that said it and me. So we talked about it. Without the girl and she knew I was going to tell. I told her straight out that if it was a lie she needed to tell me then because i was going to go to the office. She didn't say anything. So, after she walked away, i assumed it was't a lie but i wasn't sure.

So, I told. I really don't like this at all. I don't think i did anything wrong. I think i did something right but everyone yelling at me. She probably said that she never said that or something. Some lie. I dont know. I just dont know what to do. It affected me really badly today.

I still dont know. Also, my parents are awful crabby today. So that's not helping. got yelled at because i didnt know what one of my grades was. Turns out it's a b.
_________________
http://tashabauer.daportfolio.com/

Almost scary isn't it?
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website MSN Messenger
ivonne
Posting Freak
Posting Freak


Joined: 09 Jun 2004
Posts: 5874
Location: the netherlands

PostPosted: Fri Nov 02, 2007 5:20 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

sounds to me like you did what you thought was the best thing at the time. Basically all anyone can do.

It's kind of strange that you'd be catching all this flack about it.

Ivonne
_________________
We dont see things as they are,
we see them as we are.
-Anas Nin
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website AIM Address
Rosie
Posting Freak
Posting Freak


Joined: 30 Aug 2006
Posts: 7058

PostPosted: Sat Nov 03, 2007 1:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

She's telling lies. I walk into Geometry and the entire class Glares at me. what have i done? i dunno the lie but the girl was looking at me with a "in your face #@$%" look. I got pissed and told her it wasn't my fault that she is a sinister retard. I told her she needed help and until she learned that this was wrong, she'd have no one. I told her that in my eyes she was nothing and she would never be anything again.

I went off. I blew up at her. I told her so many things. She cried like hell and I left and went to the office to sit because I couldn't take it anymore. Why am I the one feeling bad for something horrible that she did? I did something right and they all do this to me? #$$% them all.
_________________
http://tashabauer.daportfolio.com/

Almost scary isn't it?
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website MSN Messenger
ivonne
Posting Freak
Posting Freak


Joined: 09 Jun 2004
Posts: 5874
Location: the netherlands

PostPosted: Sat Nov 03, 2007 5:15 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Time for some ICP?

Ivonne
_________________
We dont see things as they are,
we see them as we are.
-Anas Nin
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website AIM Address
Tierra
Moderator
Moderator


Joined: 09 Dec 2003
Posts: 451
Location: Washington, the State, USA

PostPosted: Sat Nov 03, 2007 7:05 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

This is tough one, Rosie. Because you were there with her when she told you these things, you were able to read a situation that you felt something needed to be done about. For the time, it likely was. She may have been telling you the truth under the guise of a joke to take the sting out of what happened. When you told, perhaps she was not ready to disclose that far.

Perhaps the only thing you may want to do now is come out and ask her. If it was true, what did she want you to do with that information? If it was a lie, how cruel it was for her to say it.

Good luck
Tierra
_________________
Don't let life discourage you; everyone who got where he is had to be where he was-RL Evans

Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission-Eleanor Roosevelt
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Rosie
Posting Freak
Posting Freak


Joined: 30 Aug 2006
Posts: 7058

PostPosted: Sun Nov 04, 2007 12:01 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

It was a lie. but it's stilll under investigation. this stress combined with this house does me no good. I dont want to be here. if you look at me, if you could see my face you'd know how close to just ending it all i am.
_________________
http://tashabauer.daportfolio.com/

Almost scary isn't it?
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website MSN Messenger
rufus
Junior Member
Junior Member


Joined: 12 Mar 2007
Posts: 49

PostPosted: Sun Nov 04, 2007 2:48 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

hey there Rosie-
as has already been said, this situation was really difficult. sometimes its really, really hard to know right from wrong and so we go with our gut. thats what you did and if you think that it was the right decision, that is all that matters. rape is a really sensitive issue and is not something to be joked about. that being said, if it was a joke then maybe you made a mistake. but its okay to make mistakes- we all do. just know that you did what you thought was right and dont let what other people say about it bother you.
on another note, its also important to realize how our mistakes and actions are affecting other people. perhaps the reason all this is getting turned on you is because it is too much for the girl to handle. maybe it was not a lie, and maybe even it was, perhaps the girl is dealing with some issues of her own (which you dont know about- maybe she is lying to get attention, maybe to deal with thoughts about rape, maybe out of insecuirty- who knows?). what is important now, though, is to move past this. fighting with her is not going to make life easier for either of you. i suggest you go up to her and say" listen, i didnt think your joke was funny. i felt the need to report it. im sorry that you are upset by this and i want to move past it". reconciling is the easiest way for both of you to feel better. bear in mind that she might be also be dealing with a lot of flack for making up the story, or if it is true, she might be dealing with that.
either way, try not to let it upset you too much- it will get resolved with time. it sounds like you are really upset and overwhelmed by all this, on top of the fact that you have schoolwork and your memories and pain to deal with. thats a hell of a lot of things for one person to deal with. so go easy on yourself. do some self-care and take some time for you to figure out what you need to figure out and to relax so that you can be in a good mood and "on top of the world" where you should be.
we're here to walk you through this and won't judge your actions.
stay strong, but try to understand others too Smile)
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Rosie
Posting Freak
Posting Freak


Joined: 30 Aug 2006
Posts: 7058

PostPosted: Mon Nov 05, 2007 2:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

thanks. i've got something else i need to worry about. she's not my problem. i've got a family issue that needs to be thought about a while.
_________________
http://tashabauer.daportfolio.com/

Almost scary isn't it?
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website MSN Messenger
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic    S&F's Forum Index -> Female Survivors All times are GMT + 4 Hours
Goto page 1, 2  Next
Page 1 of 2

 
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum


Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2002 phpBB Group

Site by Flashfire Designs
Copyright 1993-2003, Survivors & Friends

Help Out
Make a Donation Order Flowers S&F Bookstore
About Us
General Info Staff Mission Statement Contact Us
Misc
Awards Web Rings