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"Our House" a good thing or not?
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Is "Our House" worth keeping?
Yes, it's a valuable asset to the forum, I like it.
92%
 92%  [ 13 ]
No, it's a waste of time and we should act like adults.
7%
 7%  [ 1 ]
Total Votes : 14

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Iam
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 12, 2007 6:08 pm    Post subject: "Our House" a good thing or not? Reply with quote

Yesterday I visited our house and was feeling down so I posted a message that I thought showed how I felt but wasn't in truth very clear at all. My message was responded to by someone who knows me very well and was concerned about me. I responded in a way to her message that caused someone else to feel that I needed defending. While I very much appreciate the thought, it wasn't really necessary. The whole issue turned into a huge battle between members and became ugly. When I started "Our House" it was meant to be a place where we could all come and be less serious, where we could just sit quietly or where we could act silly if that was what we wanted. I know that there are those who felt that any levity had no place on this site......
Quote:
It is time to conclude that this experiment of making the community HA-Ha funny by condoning and promoting childish behaviour, is a failure. This thread, as well as much of what has gone on in this community over the last few months, is the product of a failure of the adults to act responsibly. It is time for adults to stop acting like children, and it is time to ask the children to leave unless they can act like an adult. Survivor adults who have done inner child work but who misunderstand the difference between inner children and actual children have allowed children to run wild here. The results are wholly predictable.
but from my personal viewpoint, the fact that the topic has grown to 107 pages and over a 1000 posts and has been viewed over 25,000 times is kind of a testament that it was a needed topic. I think most people here have enjoyed it. My question is....have we dealt it a death blow with recent events or can we heal the house and continue on?

This part is directed at steve. You say that children have no place on this site? How dare you? Where in the rules does it state that there is a restriction on the age you have to be to post? I have read and reread the rules and can't find any such rule. I would like you to think about this...if I had not given out my chronological age in some of my posts, you would not have any idea how old I am. There is no way that you can refer to any of my posts outside of 'our house' as childish. I believe that I have conducted myself in a very mature manner. I find your statement that we (the children) should either leave the site, or 'act' like adults very insulting.

I don't know whether or not you read any of Tinydancer's threads....let me tell you something about that, if she had not found her way to this site, if there had been restrictions about children posting on this site....this little girl might very well not be in this world anymore. She came here looking for help and because of the suggestions and the care that was shown to her, she sought out that help in the real world and is no longer being beaten brutally by her father, nor is she being raped by her brother and shared, passed around to his friends. Think about that steve, is having this site the way you want it, worth a little girl having to go through that?

You said yourself steve that you didn't come into the thread until page 105, why did you come in then? I think that you are drawn to conflict, you see a little conflict and can't help but jump in and exacerbate it. You seem to enjoy it. Well, failed experiment or not I don't believe that you have the right to call an end to it. I believe that it should be up to the people who actually invested time and caring into it that should have the say whether or not to continue with it.

I would like to know, from the members of this site who frequented "Our House" whether or not THEY would like to see it continue.
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Last edited by Iam on Fri Jan 12, 2007 6:36 pm; edited 1 time in total
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ivonne
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 12, 2007 6:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I very much still enjoy OUR HOUSE. I have felt safe enough there to show my little Ivonne, who is very little indeed.

I do believe we can wether this storm. Conflicts can and do happen, even in our house. Yes sometimes things get out of hand, that doesn't mean we have to quit. It means we have to have our inner adults step up and take responsibility for what our inner children have said and done on here. From what I've seen, that is exactly what happened, once all the participants in the conflict recognized that they were being triggered and lashing out, everyone apologized and it seems like there aren't any hard feelings.

The joy that OUR HOUSE has brought is worth preserving.

Ivonne
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Iam
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 12, 2007 6:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

My reason for posting this was twofold. It seems that our resident monitor of what is appropriate and what isn't has decided that we need to discontinue that thread. It also gives people a place to voice whatever opinions they might have about what has happened there. I don't feel that there is calm in our house, it still feels very hostile to me but maybe that is the way I feel and I have to deal with that.

I also needed an opportunity to express how I feel about what has been said, I don't enjoy conflict, in fact I usually leave when things get that way, it is not something I am comfortable with. However, there are somethings that I do feel strongly about and need to voice my opinion about. This particular statement that steve made is one I would like clarification on...

Quote:
The children here have done a fair amount of manipulation in order to bring about conflict among the adults. As adults we need to refuse to participate. I encourage you to ignore all children, as well as all adults who insist upon acting like a child. In this way the adults can take back this community.
Just who exactly are the 'children' you are speaking of? As far as I am aware, there are only 2 active underage posters on this forum....am I manipulating things? If so, I would love for you to give me an example of it....I am not aware of ever having done such a thing. A statement like that should not be made if you can't back it up.

I am not going to be around today, have classes all day but it is going to be interesting to see what develops here today. I could make a prediction but I won't, I will wait and see if I am correct.


Ian
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carter
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 12, 2007 6:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ian I apologise for appearing to defend you, as I said elsewhere, it really wasnt any of my business. I was triggered by the implicit assumption that there must be something wrong with you if you didnt want to join in.

I was defending the concept of being allowed to say no.


Its possible I was also triggered by the emotional blackmail aspect that I read into ivonnes responses.

I also apologise for the tone of my initial post, a more respectful tone and more explicit query might have elicited a more respectful response.

I have no fundamental objection to the 'house', its not my cup of tea so I dont usually hang out there, but I dont find the idea of it in any way offensive or detrimental to the forum.

What I do think is that care needs to be taken when roleplaying the inner children of those present in the house. Excess realism needs to be tempered with the awareness that it might not be immediately apparant to all that roleplaying is in operation, or that a real life adult post may not neccessarily be appropriately answered with a childs response.

I say go for it, with any luck we may soon see the first mass cyber-pasta-drowning of a group of diaper clad middle aged women.
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ivonne
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 12, 2007 7:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Now you're talking Carter... I'm off to the house... gotta build that pasta bath...

Ivonne
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Iam
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 12, 2007 7:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

There is no need to apologize to me Carter. Whether you were defending me, or just the principal doesn't make any difference, you stepped up and I appreciate that.

I do hope that I don't spend my entire day with a mental image of diaper clad middle aged women drowning in pasta....try explaining that to a professor, lol. And I sincerely hope that doesn't happen, I really love those big babies (and I mean that with respect ladies). You did give me a chuckle to start my day with though so thank you for that.

I just don't want something that has become enjoyable to degenerate into something else. Evolution is one thing, change is inevitable for growth but not if it takes away from the original intention of the house.

Have a good day all,
Ian
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susanie
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 12, 2007 8:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The problem is not the thread, the problem is people posting on that thread in the heat of their negative emotions. OUR HOUSE was created to be a place of safety and fun, where we could take a breather from the stress of working through our issues. It has been very healing for me to read and be a part of the interchanges there. Up until the big blowup.

My opinion is that if persons become offended / angry in OUR HOUSE, they should take it outside OUR HOUSE. We could start a thread called "OUR BACKYARD" for conflict resolutions that need to be resolved as a result of visiting OUR HOUSE. Wink

That way, the rest of us (those not involved in the conflict) can still find rest and relaxation in OUR beautiful purple HOUSE. Smile
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ivonne
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 12, 2007 8:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Susie,

That's a great idea, except I wouldn't want it in the backyard, that's part of our place I suppose to me. How about someplace called The Castle Tower?

Sounds big and important and, well... we could make up any name for it really. Camp David? Time out room?

taking it someplace else is a great idea though, I second that motion.


Ivonne
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susanie
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 12, 2007 8:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

YES! Time out room, I like it!

-Susie
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redearth11
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 12, 2007 11:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I have purposely kept out of the conflict because it did not involve me and if I am honest it frightened me.

I agree with Susie - I feel that the house was created to be a place of safety and fun, and again, honesty is speaking out here, I don't feel safe there at the moment, though I do recognise that any house does have conflicts at times and the best thing is to find a place and a way to deal with these.

I want our house to continue, to remain, to still be - I love our house and vote wholeheartedly for the creation of a 'time out room'.

Just my thoughts.....
Red
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