naming the perpetrator

esmerelda · Posted: Mon Nov 26, 2007 9:30 pm Post subject:

Phoenix, I know that was tough. Do you feel better now that you named them on this site?

Well Rosie and Phoenix named theirs, so now I'll name mine: Bill, my ex-brother-in-law. Butterfly Wink

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I am only one; but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. I will not refuse to do the something I can do. Helen Keller

alone in the universe · newbie Joined: 27 Nov 2007 Posts: 3

Naming them is exactly what I have been struggling with recently, there is one in particular that hurt the most, i suppose cus i still know him, and i feel like a coward because he is my ex- brother in-law and i dont know how many other people he has hurt especially in my famil. Mark is his name. it is easy to type, but it felt like the end of the world when i chose to name him to other members of my family. I named him but I never fought to press charges and even if I did, it doesn't seem to matter because i live in a disfunctional family who doesn't seem to think the things that happened to me were as wrong as they were. So naming him seems useless denial and avoidance runs deep. But yes I would name him.

phoenix soul · Posted: Wed Nov 28, 2007 2:01 am Post subject:

yes i do feel a little better for naming them but also very paranoid and anxious that they'll find me now.

phoenix
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if teddy bears could talk what would they say?

belthane · Posted: Wed Nov 28, 2007 3:29 pm Post subject:

(((((((((((((Phoenix)))))))))))))), if you feel so, why don't feel the good stuff that you've did this great job and remove the names?? It's not worth feeling so bad with the names here though? Or just let the first character there, to remind you that you did it!!!! But nevertheless: you did it! Even when you take them away now.
Dear hug strong woman!

iwasfour · Posted: Sun Dec 02, 2007 4:39 am Post subject:

4 adults I didn't know their names( my dad did),
the babysitters brother, 4 boys from school out in the field in third grade Douglas tried to help but their were so many and they started to hurt him so I let them then they went away,John 3yrs (My mom's fiance), Danny, Dave and his two friends0, Ricks older brother, two men who forced me a knife point, a man who beat me, a dealer in a flop house no I was'nt high I was living on the street and someone offered me a place to stay, my brother inlaw, while I was sleeping at my sisters on hte couch, a man who put ghb in my drink, the floorman at one of the places I used to work, My husband, the last thing that happened in 2005 some man took my purse I GOT MY PURSE BACK! today I 'm learning more every day I come to this sight,It's their shame not mine not anymore, This is the first time ever that I have named them and I may have blocked some. Its my life not theirs.

Luci · newbie Joined: 02 May 2012 Posts: 6

The perp was my mother, Frances H. She's been dead 27 years.
How do you respond to a poll? I can't figure it out.

I'd also like to hear from others who have mother perps.

Tasha · Junior Member Joined: 03 Mar 2011 Posts: 90

I think that poll has expired, Luci.
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The best thing about silence, I can leave as quietly as I came.

Luci · newbie Joined: 02 May 2012 Posts: 6

Not a lot of traffic on this forum...I can understand it is hard to write about, but when no one has written for five years...
I'm on one about getting off certain types of psych drugs. Lots of traffic there. I wanted to find one closer to what I'm dealing with. Been working on survivor issues most of my life, but just recently found a therapist who can actually handle what I need to work on. They are rare. So I'm getting into a swamp. It's good, but naturally, it's hard.

Tasha · Junior Member Joined: 03 Mar 2011 Posts: 90

This one has died down a lot. I try not to come here to vent anymore, I only do when I absolutely need to. Otherwise, I'm trying the whole DIY part of this. No therapist, wont even take my pills. Trying to go it alone. I hope you find what your'e looking for
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The best thing about silence, I can leave as quietly as I came.

Luci · newbie Joined: 02 May 2012 Posts: 6

Thanks, Tasha.
In my healing, contact with other survivors has been crucial. I have only a few right now, mostly via email, but still it is great when someone 'gets it', really knows what I'm talking about. We used to have a number of survivor 12-step groups in my area. Now LONG gone.
I'm totally with you on going without the meds. I found an eye-opening book: Your Drug May Be Your Problem, by Peter Breggin. About how the drugs cause far more problems than they solve (if they solve anything).
Are there sections where there are more current posts? I guess what I need to do is explore.
All the best to you in your journey!
Luci