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Triggering Fight *it's really long*
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Is this too long?
yes
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no
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Rosie
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Joined: 30 Aug 2006
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PostPosted: Fri Sep 08, 2006 8:52 am    Post subject: Triggering Fight *it's really long* Reply with quote

I got in a small fight this morning. No one was seriously hurt. I promise. But this guy had stolen my things and claimed to lost my notebook with my notes for American History. So I haven't been able to study the required materials for my test that we started today. Which that seriously pissed me off that I thought he had stolen it then lost it.

Turns out that he had it all along. He gave it back to me this morning. I asked him politely not to touch or take any of my things again. He didn't answer me so i turned to go to class and what does he do? He kicked me right in the #$#. That makes me mad. of course i turned around and smacked him. Then he did it again and i fell right into the lockers. I got really mad and threw my crap down and chased him down the hall. then i punched him and he tripped me.

I fell in the worse position ever. hands and knees. I hate being on my hands and knees. I can't stand it for specific reasons. People started to laugh at me. That made me more mad and the rage just came out. Kind of like last year when i hit that girl with a book. I felt heat in my eyes and chased him to the stairs. I punched him and he took off down the stairs and out the door.

I went after him. He was holding it shut but i was able to push so that it' opened and i wiggled half way through when he smashed the door on my chest. It knocked my breath out so i fell to my knees. again with that stupid position. and i tried to get my breath back. he stepped over me and said "I knew you liked it doggie style" That really pissed me off. so i got up and chased him up the stairs and yanked him down a few steps until he punched me hard three times in the shoulder.

After that I just gave up. It felt like one of the fights my brother and i would get into often. I dont know if that's considered a beating or what. I mean what my brother would do not that sonofabitch at school. Anyway, it made me feel like crap.

It rememinded me so much of what my brother used to do. He'd just pull back and hit me. Closed fist. He never slapped me. Never. He obviously knew that slapping wouldn't work on me. He'd punch and kick the #*$# out of me. I seriously hated it. He'd get so violent that I'd end up running to the kitchen when i got a chance and getting a knife to threaten him. He'd back off until i put the knife back and then it'd start again because i had threatened him.

the "doggie style" comment really #$$% hurt my feelings. Mostly because my brother...he never....he never...well he never vaganally raped me. Embarassed It was always "Doggie style" and it hurt like hell every time he did it. and just thinking about it makes me want to reach out and smack someone or something. and that boy saying that to me just reminded me that my brother had done that. That i knew what it was like but it was with my brother and i hated every second of it.

That stupidass boy just kept on pushing me. He's been saying things to me that i politely ask him not to say. He'll sit with me at the lunch table and no matter where i go, he follows. He'll say stuff like "I drempt about you last night." or "So how was coming down on me? Wasn't it great?" just stupid jerky #*$# like that. I always say "Could you please stop saying that?" and his reply is always "Oh come on you know you like it." bam! another thing right there.

My stupid brother used to say that to keep my mouth shut. the boy also has a thing for digging around in my purse when i am reading and don't catch the strap before he opens it. I got in trouble a few days ago because i literally jumped on him to get my personal things back. poems and dates and stories that no one is suppossed to see. like therapy dates and stuff like that. also the usuall femanine things. he still does it.

I don't know why but i hate when people just dig through my things. oddly i have a hard time putting poems and posts on here because i concider them my stuff and i know people are going to go through it and read. It sucks. I just hate people looking through my crap unless i give them permission. It bugs me.

We've got the air conditioner off here becuase it's been staying pretty cool outside. well my room has the window where the wind always blows. so i have to keep my door open all day and night so the air will get from my room to the rest of the house. That bothers me too. It's like i'm losing my privacy or something like that.

I hate it. first off, boys don't need to go through purses for any reason at all. and second, him saying that stuff is totally out of line. i've told my parents about him picking on me and so far it's done no good and i'm sick of it. I want that kid to leave me alone and i just want everyone to stop thinking that something is wrong with me.

I'm freaking normal for crying out loud. So sometimes i don't eat. I know it's not healthy but its me. sometimes i get loud and jumpy and goofy and hyper but that's part of me too. i can get really bitchy or i can just be silent. It's all part of me.

Just because i stay in my room doesn't mean i'm depressed. If i wear a sweater it doesn't mean i cut. If you want friggin signs i'll tell you..

if i cut, i'll be silent and have a sad look on my face and hold my arms in close to me.
if i'm depressed you'll hear tori amos...the song precious things will be on repeat.
if i'm feelign suicidal then mudvayne will be loud
if i'm pissy then you'll know because i'll snap at you.

i mean look at what this guy is doing. It's eleven thirty and i'm up because i'm so upset that he was being so rude. I barely ate any dinner because i am so upset about this. i know i shouldn't be or maybe i should but i dont know. it hurts. every stupidass comment about him and me and something sexual makes me want to just smack the crap out of him.

It feels like i'm turning into a freaking violent person. Everyone thinks i'm a #@$% and it's not right. I'm not. I'm nice. I'm very nice. I'm not one of those people that everyone needs to hate. I'm not mean and nasty just because i want to be. I don't hit people unless I get out of control. I'm not a horrible evil person.

I wink kinda fast and people say it's scary and that i'm stealing their souls. It sounds really stupid but it hurts when they say that. I'm not mean. I'm not evil. I'm incapable of stealing anything. i hardly like getting gifts. I've never stolen anything and i've never done anything out of malice. well maybe some things against my brother but they were deserved. I'm not evil or mean and i'm not violent.

I think everyone has the wrong idea about me and it hurts. I'm not the kind of kid that makes fun of the freshmen. i befriend the freshmen and help them out. i'm not mean. I want people to see me but that's hard when i'm showing me and everyone puts me down because i snap sometimes or i get a little depressed.

I'm tired of being treated like i'm not worth anything. i just want things to run like they are supposed to. I know i am probably bitching or whining or whatever you want to call it but all of this crap just plain hurts.

not even my parents see the real me. i'm not moody. i mean my mom asked me once why i dressed so funny. i dont get what's so odd about it. i usually wear a pair of pants a tshirt and some tennis shoes. what's so weird about that? now the pants are shorts but...i dont understand how that's weird. i mean i'm super happy because i am finally comfortable wearing my hair in a ponytail. i never was before and i don't know why.

why does everyone have to treat me like i'm something...like a vase or something. like a glass figure that can break? it's stupid and annoying. it seems like the only people that don't treat me like that are the people i talk to on here.

that's why i consider you guys to be more of a family than my real family. we're so... i dont know. we don't talk about things and then i get on here to talk about them and get in trouble for doing that. i do that so that they dont stay inside until i blow in rage or result to self mutilation. they get me in trouble for seeking help and i think that's dumb when i have to do that because they aren't around or are in too bad of a mood to listen to me.

no one listens to me. i want someone to listen to me. i want someone to just be able to sit there and nod and just listen then hug me or something. this sucks.

sorry that this is sooo long but i needed to get that out.
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Iam
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Joined: 12 Jun 2006
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PostPosted: Fri Sep 08, 2006 4:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Teenagers can be real jackasses to each other....i know this is true cuz i am one..

Having said that, what this guy is doing is not just being a teenager. What he is doing is SEXUAL HARRASSMENT. It's not only wrong on a lot of levels, it's also illegal. Have u talked to ur school counselor about this? If not, u need to. I know guys like this rosie.....they think they are gods gift to all girls and can't believe that there might be one who doesn't think so. Him going through ur purse is ......well it's tresspassing for one thing. You seriously need to talk to somebody who can and will actually do something about this guy before his behavior becomes more than just teasing and crap.

As far as the way ppl see u and treat u, I get that stuff, I really do. I have been dealing with being 'different' since the seventh grade..and i am really lucky to have the friends that i do becuz they try to protect me from most of that crap....which has a down side too believe it or not..i get called sissy boy cuz Teeny never let anybody pick on me....

ppl just don't understand anyone who is different from them, and they usually don't try to, ppl like us who behave other than what 'they' consider normal are not accepted well. This isn't a flaw in u rosie...it's a flaw in them. I wish those ignorant ppl would take the time to get to know u...ur very sweet and funny.....u could be a good friend if they weren't so ignorant. All i can say is use what u have.....i use my odd ball sense of humor...it keeps ppl guessing about me..

I know that none of this is really all that helpful to u, and i'm sorry for that, there isn't much anybody can say that will make ur situation any easier...i understand ur privacy issue too....u know how i feel about my privacy so u know i do.....

i wish i could come and be ur body guard..nobody ever messes with me....cuz they all think i'm gonna go all postal on em i guess...if ignorance is bliss.....we both know alot of really happy ppl rosie.

hang in there....ur better than they are..they just haven't realized it yet.

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Rosie
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Joined: 30 Aug 2006
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PostPosted: Sat Sep 09, 2006 5:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Very Happy you're so nice. you almost made me cry.

thanks. i don't think i can go to the counsellor. i don't trust school ones. i told my counsellor in the eigth grade that my brother was always hitting me and that something was going on that should be and you know what she did? she put me in an anger management thing and saw me once a week and told me to get a lock for my door. last year everything went boom and i'm pretty sure she feels like a huge jackass.
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ivonne
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Joined: 09 Jun 2004
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PostPosted: Sat Sep 09, 2006 6:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's long, but because it's been triggerwarned for being long, it's okay, you can now read it when you have time...

and here's a hug to tide you over hun,

((((((((((((((((((((((Rosie)))))))))))))))))))

Ivonne
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Rosie
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PostPosted: Sun Sep 10, 2006 3:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks for the hug but could you pat me on the back? I need to burp. Laughing
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ivonne
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Location: the netherlands

PostPosted: Sun Sep 10, 2006 3:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well okay, but only if you promise to burp not barf...

"pat's Rosie on the back" She burpes, ew that smell...

Rolling Eyes

Ivonne
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Rosie
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PostPosted: Sun Sep 10, 2006 3:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks but lunch came up a little. I think i'm gonna go brush my teeth now. Taco Mayo and ice cream coming up....yeck.
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ivonne
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PostPosted: Sun Sep 10, 2006 3:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

It always does look a lot nicer going in than it does coming out...

Ivonne
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Rosie
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PostPosted: Sun Sep 10, 2006 3:59 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Embarassed watch your step while i go get a mop.
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Rosie
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 14, 2006 2:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

okay that whole thing about sexual harassment is bugging me. Today a kid punched me in the chest for no reason. it's a stupid game that guys play. If they walk by a friend of theirs that's a girl they say "Open chest" and punch them. Then later the same kid was smacking me in the chest with a ruler. Then he ran his hand up my arm and purred at me so, naturally I slapped him. (it was really loud and really funny) He also smacked me in the calf, leg, and thigh with the ruler.

then later the guy i got into a fight with was trying to take my stuff and i grabbed it and tried to yank it from him and his hand "accidentally" touched my chest when he let go. I could understand it being an accident but this wasn't. I had the book at arms length when he let go and his hand casually went to my chest and bumped me. What is wrong with these guys? Is it just teenage crap or what?
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