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"DREAM" Images *** MAY TRIGGER!!!!***
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Do dreams have a true meaning?
Yes, I think they do.
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Nah, they're just a pigment of our wild imagination.
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Total Votes : 6

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ivonne
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PostPosted: Sun Aug 13, 2006 3:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, you stand in front of a mirror and look at yourself. Then you tell yourself that you are a perfect person. You tell yourself that you trust yourself and then you go out and do trustworthy things.

Take a look at Roseless poetry about the Little Girl. That's all about establishing trust within yourself.

Ivonne
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Roseless
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PostPosted: Sun Aug 13, 2006 4:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

hey,

try the mirror thinger. she told me to do it and it worked... Very Happy
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it's gonna be okay
just hold on tight
and let it all go away. - Melissa Etheridge, Mercy
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Chispita
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PostPosted: Mon Aug 14, 2006 4:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Where does one learn to trust oneself? I mean, where does it come from? Is it something you learn as a child, as a teenager, or is it something that just happens? I'm just trying to figure out where I went wrong... Rolling Eyes
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ivonne
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PostPosted: Tue Aug 15, 2006 1:15 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

You're not the one that went wrong.... it wasn't your fault...

In normal childhood (will anyone who had one please raise their hands... Nobody?)

Anyway, in an ordinary childhood, the child is given age-appropriate tasks. Succes at them means they receive positive reinforcement. Failure means they get encouraged to try again.

This is what builds confidence. It starts with putting on your sweater all by yourself...

There are manyways in which this process can be disrupted:

Obviously by giving a child a task that is way over their heads... "you stupid girl, you're 4 you shoulda learned to drive a car by now" That's kind of what CSA is all about. You're expected to perform a task that you are so way way way not ready for. This destroys any selfconfidence that may have been built before.

If you are wondering where "you" went wrong? When were you first abused?

The other way to totally disrupt a childs selfconfidence is to give the child no challenges at all. "you can't do that you're too little"

Or how about this one: negative reinforcement: "you can't do anything right" every time a mistake is made.

Or neglecting to reinforce the positive: "If only you'd tried harder you'd have gotten straight A's"

Something like that...
Ivonne
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Chispita
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PostPosted: Tue Aug 15, 2006 6:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

So basically, CSA (and any abuse for that matter) takes away anything and everthing from someone... Sometimes I feel like I was designed to be a self-destructing bomb with no purpose or direction in life... Why do people choose to curse somebody's life like that? Why wasn't I loved or cared for? WHY?! Evil or Very Mad Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad
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ivonne
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PostPosted: Tue Aug 15, 2006 10:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I don't know why someone thought it was okay to do this to you. People do bad things sometimes.

Grab a hanky and have a good cry, I'm sorry the world isn't a better place than it is. Let's try to make it a little better, later, okay?

What they haven't taken away from you is your ability to make things better. You can cut through your story and start living from your core, your vision. You can become the Chispita you want to be.

You can and you are on your way to do that. It's possible to turn this around Chispita, it's possible to find happiness in this world. Don't let CSA stand in your way... It takes a lot to overcome this, but once you do, the depth of your happiness will be as big as the depth of your hurt now.

((((CHISPITA))))

Ivonne
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Chispita
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 16, 2006 5:00 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's true... I know it's true. I just can't seem to cry... ever. It's not that I try to or don't try to. It's just the way it is. Maybe my heart is made out of stone after all. I do get teared up sometimes, but that's about it. When I was little, I learned to hold it in and not cry. It got me in trouble. I learned that crying was for "cowards" and the "weak." I learned that "only babies" cry. Of course, now I know none of that is true. But yet, sometimes I feel like crying would help me feel better, but it just doesn't come. I've always thought that crying is something you can't control. Is it? Am I just plain crazy? Rolling Eyes I do cry on the inside, but not on the outside...
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ivonne
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 16, 2006 2:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well obviously crying is something you can control, you learned to control it at a very early age. You've gotten very good at it. Letting go is something of a challenge I must admit.

Listening to your little girl, being there for her, that will bring the release you crave hun, it may take time, but when she starts to trust you enough you let her tears show, that is a moment to rejoice...

I can't tell you how happy I am that I've learned to cry. It's something that can be done, it just takes time and patience...

Ivonne
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Chispita
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 16, 2006 5:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wow, I never knew you could actually 'control' crying... I always thought it came from inside you and it just happened when it happened. Perhaps I don't have a heart of stone after all... Wink But what if I release and can't take it or stop it??? Confused
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ivonne
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 16, 2006 6:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, it will stop. It is humanly impossible to cry any longer than 27 hours at a time. You'r body will dehydrate and you will get too tired and fall asleep.

Honestly though, if you cry these old tears, you will find that after a while they subside on their own, like a wave crashing on the shore.

You can handle these old tears, you know you can because you've survived the circumstances that caused them.

Ivonne
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