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Hi i'm 20 yrs old, and this is my first time here.

 
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ns6676
newbie
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Joined: 02 May 2004
Posts: 1
Location: Texas

PostPosted: Sun May 02, 2004 10:22 am    Post subject: Hi i'm 20 yrs old, and this is my first time here. Reply with quote

i am really confused and I don't know what to do.
7 days ago i apparently had sex with one of my friends. The troubling thing is that I was really drunk and do not remember any of it. Infact the only reason i know about it is because he told me about it two days later, recommending that i get the morning after pill because he didn't use a condom. When he told me i was in a state of complete shock, disbelief and confusion. He seemed shocked that i didn't know that we had sex, and continually apologized to me... He seems to really care, he tells me to call whenever i need him or am feeling upset but i dont know if he's just saying that out of guilt or him feeling obligated or if he geninenly cares.....I just dont understand it because i dont know what to call it... i hesitate in calling it rape because i know he was drunk too.... and i shouldn't have gotten so drunk. he constantly tells me that he's sorry etc about everything, that he cant eat or sleep, and from what i gather he seems to care... when ever he sees me on campus he doesnt ignore me and continually tells me that "he will always be there when i need him"... i dont know.... and what makes it worse is that i've really liked him for over 6 months ( i dont think he knows) so its hard... and he really has respect for women.. this is the third time he's ever had sex in his entire life... i wish i could write him off as being a complete a*shole, but i can't because he really isnt... and i know he feels horrible for what he has done.... but regardless i still cant help feeling completely angry at him... and i fear he may have only slept with me because he was drunk and has no feelings for me... and i do not have casual sex because of the mental consequences it has...
My entire life i've craved some form of stability and something to cling to because since i was 10 yrs old my family and I have moved and traveled all around the world, and at 15 i went to boarding school in Conneticut, while my parents were thousands of miles of away... my parents live abroad and have lived abroad for over 14 years. and i cant talk to them about this because they would freak out and because i dont feel comfortable enough to tell them... i



It just feels like everything in my life is falling apart.. i attend one of the best universities in the US, im in the top 10th percentile, and its the middle of finals week and i cant concentrate..... i've worked so hard to get where i am, and now i feel like its all about to cave in. Oh and to make matters worse, my mother was supposed to come back to the united states next week to live with me, but now it turns out her passport is messed up so she may not be coming down, which means i will have to live alone in big city in which i know NOBODY..
i just need to know what to do....
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knelson
Site Admin
Site Admin


Joined: 06 Dec 2003
Posts: 144
Location: U.S.

PostPosted: Mon May 03, 2004 7:49 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

If you are close friends with him...have you ever tried asking "where is our relationship going?" If he truly is a close friend, I think he'd be willing to talk about the whole ordeal so that you can both try to bring closure to the issue one way or the other. Communication is important Smile

I wish you the best of luck, and hope you will find some support on this site. Even if he is "respectful of women," and was drunk at the time...that doesn't make your feelings any less real...it is understandable for you to feel violated when told something that you don't even remember. And even "nice guys" do things that they know they shouldn't do when their inhibitions are lowered...so there are a number of scenarios that would come to my mind, and I can imagine you feeling very vulnerable and taken advantage of after a situation like this...

Take care of yourself,

Kevin
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Maria13
newbie 1st class
newbie 1st class


Joined: 23 Apr 2018
Posts: 21

PostPosted: Wed Apr 25, 2018 12:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I agree with the answer.
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