From a supporters side

[4my wife]

I believe this is going to be different for everyone, I'm writing from the side of a survivors partner. Early in our dating life, when things began to move to-wards intimacy. I knew my then girlfriends past and her ongoing issues with dealing with abuse. We progressed slowly, and communicated about boundaries and limits. There were times when something would trigger and it all stopped. we'd regroup and try again another time. sometimes an hour later, sometimes a couple days or week later. Sometimes we would back up the progression and start building again. Eventually we worked through and shared our passion for each other. One thing that helped also, was finding things that were not part of her past, ways to explore that she didn't associate directly with her past. There were still times when something might trigger and we'd stop, regroup and continue at a later time. In time, those set backs became fewer and farther between.

Generally speaking, communicate boundaries and limits. make sure your partner is understanding and willing and able to stop. Take your time, you can and will get to where you want to be in your relationship. There will be bumps in the road, some bigger than others, then that happens in life too.

Mike