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Reclaiming Sexuality

 
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helpme1996
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Joined: 29 Dec 2012
Posts: 1

PostPosted: Sat Dec 29, 2012 3:30 am    Post subject: Reclaiming Sexuality Reply with quote

Recently I have recalled being abused by a church leader when I was just 13. During this time I am having a hard time reclaiming my sexuality. It seems graven images are haunting me even when I fantasize. I am afraid to sleep sometime because I am haunted by receiving these images.

In public and encountering people I feel like I am going to lose control of myself. I do not know what to do.

I am seeking professional help with a therapist which just started last week. I writing in a journal to help see my feelings on paper. It helps me to vent and get out the trauma and anger from the event. I am just starting therapy, but I am in desperate need of help.

When I use to fantasize about women I would feel completely dirty, ashamed, and disgusted with myself after it was over. I feel like my strict religious belief is stifling my sexuality along with the encounter of the abuse.

I don't know what to do. I am here to hear from anyone that has ever had a similar experience and can help me out.
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ivonne
Posting Freak
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Joined: 09 Jun 2004
Posts: 5874
Location: the netherlands

PostPosted: Fri Feb 08, 2013 8:14 pm    Post subject: relax Reply with quote

Seems like a strange advise perhaps when you're so obviously stressed out, but really... try to relax.

Reclaiming your own sexuality is a matter of time, of taking the time to heal the abuse and making sure you are feeling safe again.

As annoying and frightening as your nightmares and recovering memories may be, they will pass and they don't have the power to hurt you in the present. They belong to the past. They need healing and they need your attention but they are a part of the past.

So breathe... again...
And know that you're starting your healing process. It will take some time and perhaps, as you wrote your post a while back you've allready started to feel the healing.

Take care,
Ivonne
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We dont see things as they are,
we see them as we are.
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