I want to help her heal, but not sure how to start

[Lil]

Hi,
My friend was sexually abused when she was very young. She never went to counselling and bottles up the feelings. Now we are mid 20's and she is suffering from nightmares and flash blacks.
I want to help her to go to counselling, but she doesn't think she is ready, but does want to talk to me about it. She is just finding it hard, and I don't know what to say or do to help.
She texts to say she want's to talk, but then doesn't know how to start, and I don't want to push her, so we end up just watching a film and not talking about it. Then we apologize over text.
I don't know whether to say anything to encourage her, or what to say.

[ivonne]

Hi,

You're doing a lot just by being there and her wanting to open up to you.

Perhaps instead of talk you should look towards other means of expressing herself? It may sound weird, but writing stuff down often is easier than saying things out loud. Or perhaps she can draw something, do something creative that lets it out, little by little.

As an online counsellor I worked with many survivors who in "real life" couldnt talk about their abuse yet. That might be an option too.

Good luck,
Ivonne
_________________
We don’t see things as they are,
we see them as we are.
–-Anaîs Nin