Beginning to Open Up - Potentially Graphic

[Roland242]

So... I just turned on Sticky Keys on my keyboard trying to work up the guts to write something here - to actually write down and put out there what has happened to me. Figure that's some kind of sign that all this needs to come out...or that I need to get my finger off the Shift key.

I am a survivor of incest and sexual abuse by my biological father, which I have only disclosed to 4 people (my therapist, my wife, 1 coworker, and my teacher when I was in 2nd grade [who called my mom, who then called me a "rotten child" and threatened to "send me away to boarding school for saying such lies"]. The abuse lasted for 2 years (from when I was 6 until I was 8 and told my teacher), and escalated from my father touching my hips and butt to him fondling my genitalia, and ended after anal penetration while I was sleeping.

There's a lot more information behind all of that, and I have lived for so long denying the pain and denying what has happened to me that I don't know how to start talking about it. Any support/suggestions would be appreciated. I thought about trying to write a personal story and definitely don't feel ready for that, but I need to figure out a healthy outlet for myself before my brain explodes.

Cheers