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Sexual Exploration Relieving Tension *trigger*

 
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Tasha
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Joined: 03 Mar 2011
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PostPosted: Mon Oct 17, 2011 8:29 pm    Post subject: Sexual Exploration Relieving Tension *trigger* Reply with quote

Okay. My boyfriend's birthday was last Thursday, he turned 21. Well, next month we will have been together for six months. We don't get to see each other often because when I am not working, he is at school or work, and when he isn't, I am at work. We were going to celebrate together on Saturday but I ended up having to work so we celebrated yesterday. I took him to dinner and we came home, watched a very weird movie and gave him his gifts. Then it came time for his real gift.

We went to my room and sat down and were both shaking so bad that it was crazy. Now, in our nearly six month relationship, we haven't held hands, kissed, nothing like that. I finally figured out why and I'm totally okay with it. Very Happy But I had promised him that I would try something with him sexually last night. *trigger* He told me that he is into a thing called DID. It stands for Damsel In Distress. Basically, he likes to tie girls up. Now, neither of us had really done it and neither of us have had sex with someone we really care about. So, we were both nervous. Very nervous. DID is like bondage but it's not leather bound, whip me type stuff. He likes to tie the ankles, wrists and gag. The gag he likes is over the mouth so it's not actually in the mouth just covers it. He also likes to play chloroform which freaked me out but we talked about it and stuff. He doesn't actually want to use the drug he just likes the whole girl knocked out type thing, then ties them up. So, I agreed to try it.

It took an hour and a half of just talking about it. Asking questions, looking at things he has on the internet and just figuring out what it was. Then, he tied me up with two ties and a handkerchief. We tried the chloroform thing but it was too awkward and we both kept laughing. I felt bad for it but it is what it is. It wasn't bad and we both found out we were nervous for basically nothing. It wasn't that bad.

The thing that makes me love him so much is that he was telling me in that honest sweet voice that men have that if I say stop, he will immediately undo everything and stop. He told me I didn't even have to do it last night. He said I could look it up and such and get comfortable with it and then do it. But after so much talking, we were both calm enough to do it. He's so cute, he let me keep a tie. Then he asked if I just liked it or if I wanted it because it was his. I wanted it because it was his and he said that was cute. We were fine, we talked about it while i walked him to his car and the best part happened. I finally felt at ease enough to hug him the way I've wanted to. Arms under his, up my hands on his shoulders and my face right on his shoulder with my eyes shut. My god that was an amazing hug. I told him I loved him and he said he loved me too and he went home. Then I texted him because he said he had expected it to turn out differently and I was afraid I let him down. He said no I didn't and he loved me and we talked about it.

What I don't understand is this sexual exploration seemed to relieve so much tension in the relationship. He told me I can cuddle him on the couch, I can hold his hand and I can always hug him that way. I mean I just feel so much more comfortable to be with him now. Is that a normal thing? It seems him and I are doing this a bit backwards. Sexual exploration then holding hands and cuddling and love hugs. Is this stuff okay? Does it make us bad people? Are we weird?

Those are just a few questions I have. And Taubah, if you see this and read it, if you want to, I'll talk to you about it and I mean actually talk on the phone type talk. He did not hurt me and I was absolutely fine after it happened. You don't need to worry. He's a great guy and I think you'd like him. Anyways, thanks for listening and TAUBAH I LOVE YOU!!!!
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