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Has anyone struggled with promiscuity/casual sex issues?
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kygirl
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Joined: 21 Oct 2009
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PostPosted: Wed Oct 28, 2009 9:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

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Last edited by kygirl on Wed Mar 02, 2011 12:28 am; edited 1 time in total
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PaneraBread
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Joined: 20 Feb 2008
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 10, 2010 10:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

kygirl wrote:
I did in my teen years. My dad was one of my abusers and after I told one of his sisters came up to me at a public place and told me did I think any boy in his right mind would want to be with someone who says she had been with her dad. So I started searching, of course though, none of my partners knew about my abuse. Counting my abusers I had had sex with 7 people by the time I was 18. I realize that isn't a lot of partners, but at the time I just wanted to feel loved, because I felt I had know one who loved me.


I'm sorry that happened to you. The "No guy would want you, after they find out you've been with your dad" is one of the reasons why I didn't tell anybody what was happening. I was already being bullied in school. The last thing I wanted was more torment.

It's "damend if you do, damned if you dont", if you either choose to speak up or keep quiet about sexual abuse.

I had an ex that knew about my abuse, and he used it to exploit and abuse me for his own gain (he claims he was trying to help, in his head). Looking back, it was sick.


When July comes, it will officially be my 2 year anniversary of celibacy! A big middle finger to the rude exes who said I wouldn't be able to make it. Laughing
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PaneraBread
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 10, 2010 10:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

ElenSmithee wrote:
Hi, I'm new here, and I was never aware that this was a universal problem. I grew up in a house where I pretty much learned that flirting was fine if you didn't mean it. I'm not sure when the abuse started, but I always had prickly heat on my genitals--even in winter--which went unexplained for years and only stopped when my mother and I left my father.

I have the strange behaviour of being turned on by men, but as soon as the act begins, I completely shut off. Sometimes I actually black out and come to doing things completely out of character for me. The whole situation was made worse last year when I had a mild seizure with my boyfriend and he took the opportunity to "backdoor" me, which I protested was rape. I was incredibly hurt by that (not just emotionally) because I thought I loved him and he me.

Perhaps it's a blessing, then, that some new medications I'm on for manic-depression and PTSD have almost eradicated my sex drive. Confused


I'm sorry that I hadn't read this..I haven't been here in awhile.

Yes, you were raped and I'm so sorry that you had to endure that. I hope you're getting the help you need to recover.
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PaneraBread
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 18, 2011 7:13 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, I'm now finally in a healthy sexual relationship. I think the period of celibacy sure helped clear my head.

When I first met my boyfriend, I waited 3 months until I was ready to have sex. I wanted to get to know him first and build on the mental/emotional intimacy. I definitely think this strengthened the relationship.

Recently, I told him that I did some things I wasn't proud of and he didn't care. His response was "All teenagers/college kids do that. It's no big deal."

That was a relief, because my ex-boyfriends constantly tauned me for being a slut that nobody likes. My current boyfriend says that my ex-boyfriends sound like the gayest men he has ever seen.
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