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On the Rocks

 
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Did I handle this correctly?
yes
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no
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In a way, yes but you should have waited until you were both calm and sober.
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Tasha
Junior Member
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Joined: 03 Mar 2011
Posts: 90

PostPosted: Sun Mar 06, 2011 8:24 pm    Post subject: On the Rocks Reply with quote

Hi,

okay, I really had no idea where to stick this so I just decided that hear was probably the safest.

Yesterday was actually a really great day. I posted my "I'm beautiful" as my status on facebook and then kind of goofed off watching a couple movies. Then my friend called and we went to the cemetary to do a homework assignment. Which was actually sad. It took me a while because I kept bending over and placing the flowers back in place or pulling weeds from stones you couldn't see. I hate that. Everyone needs respect even after death. Anyways, then I went home and stopped for food on the way. Came home, ate and watched a movie again and then lay down while I started another movie for a nap. I slept for 37 minutes (record time!) and my friend called and wanted me to come over and play Sims with her. So I did and I took her to dinner and all of that.

Then I got home around eleven thirty. So, I came in my room, set up my laptop and started playing Sims again. I was making a guy and he adopted a baby and now he wants to get married. Jeez. Then my girlfriend popped up on msn and started talking. of course,she was drunk. And she started making all of these excuses. but honestly, last night I was just tired of every time I talk to her, she is drunk or tipsy or buzzed. So, I of course asked her why and it got into this fight about her always being drunk when I talk to her. And I said that I thought she was going to stop or at least cut back because that is what we agreed on when we first started dating and i agreedto quit cutting. So it seemed likea fair trade. WEll, she got even more mad at me and her response was "Get used to it or leave me."

THAT totally made my good day and happy "my-life-isn't-that-bad" feeling come completely crashing down on me. I couldn't even really reply for a while then I decided to let my heart do it's talking so I put my hands on the keyboard and out came "You don't really want to be with me do you?"

And it went on and on from there. We are still together but I told her that she has to change. She has another girlfriend named Jacqui. I put up with my girlfriend hiding me all the time. I hate it and she knows that. I'm no longer allowed to text her because of her other girlfriend. Just facebook and msn. but when she's on msn she's always drunk. So, yes I am very fed up with that situation. She said she is trying to break up with her but after last night, I'm not exactly sure what to think. Everything was thrown back at me with "what's up your arse" or "what the #$$% is wrong with you" and "it's too hard I can't do this".

Well I'm sorry but I NEVER have mistreated her and I NEVER will. I have done things that make me uncomfortable and embarrassed just for her that I would never trust to do with anyone else. I have angered my momma over this relationship and lost friends and I said well "Momma wont leave me because she loves me and if those friends want to leave,they weren't friends anyway". I put up with her having Jacqui, drinking, her constant need for sex. I put up with a lot from her. I always forgive her when she hurts me but last night, "Get used to it or leave me"? That I don't know how to deal with.

So, I told her that I love her but she isn't going to treat me like that. She said she loves me and that I know that. I said I know but when you say something like that that would willingly put a fermented liquid in front of the person you love, then it makes it that much harder to believe. I told her I don't want her drunk every time I talk to her and she said she wouldn't be. I also told her that if we don't work out this time, it will be the last time I try. We were together several times when I was younger and it didn't work out but I always tried to do my best with her. But she's always hurt me. I told her that if we break up, I'm not trying this again because I'm worth more than a broken heart. That kind of made her mad.

We didn't end the convo all settled down. We agreed that changes have to be made and that we were still together and she said "I gotta go bye". So, I said "Yeah, Right, bye" and she left. She did come back on at two something in the morning. I had talked to a friend about what happened and finally decidedthe day should end and I wasgoing to bed. I saw her log on and I sat there for a bit and thought about waiting to see if she was going to say anything to me but decided sleep was more important than another fight. So, I logged off and went to bed.

I probably could have handled the situation better but honestly, when it is the millionth time someone says "I love you" and you find out that they are drunk when they say it, it doesn't really give you much confidence. How am I supposed to believe someone that can't even stay sober enough to say it to me?

I'm not sure what to do. Anyone have any advice?
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Tasha
Junior Member
Junior Member


Joined: 03 Mar 2011
Posts: 90

PostPosted: Mon Mar 07, 2011 8:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, last night kind of sealed the deal. We faught again and she decided we need to take a step back. Just be friends. I assume that means we are over. She said no it's just waiting until you can trust me. I dunno. That all ended around eleven somethingand I went to bed. Then I wake up at two to my phone rining and I look and it's her. So i ignored it severaly times finally i answered i woudlnt say much to her and she'd get frustrated and hang up. then she'd call back. the last call was around three where i finally said i do love her and i do trust her. it sucks because i heard the pain in her voice and i could tell she wasgoingto cry and i dont want her to cry. i dont want her hurt. but i dont deserve to be hurt like she's hurt me the past two days either.

i did cut. i cut her name into my chest. it wasnt real deep, the blade i used was #*$#. she's mega pissed about that. i duno.


i just know i dont feel well today. i'm really unhappy. my heart is broken. and you were all right.

being positive gets positive being negative gets negative.
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Taubah
Posting Freak
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Joined: 06 May 2008
Posts: 1239
Location: Indiana

PostPosted: Tue Mar 08, 2011 9:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

hugs love you. let m read this through tomorrow. hugs
_________________
Parched. dry. i run-
across your soul.
the faceless me i chase,
voiceless and untold.
~Taubah
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Tasha
Junior Member
Junior Member


Joined: 03 Mar 2011
Posts: 90

PostPosted: Tue Mar 08, 2011 9:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well too bad cuz I hafta add more now.

okay so....she texted me while i was working and i got it on break. she said she wanted to talk. So I get on msn on my phone and we are talking. she's getting pissed and telling me i dont trust her and blah blah blah. we were both mad so it was almost the same #$$% thing over and over and over and over as last night and the night before. so I got pissed. She said it was in my hands and i said no i'ts in your hands. and i logged off and went back to work.

i come back and she texted me again and i texted her back and she told me to log on. so i did. this time we were both a lot more calm and she said she was sorry. i said it too. i told her we need to sit and talk about her having this other girl and that she wasgoing ot have to do it openly and not get angry. she agreed and said she'd do it for me. we arent...i don tknow if we are together or not. it's confusing but at least she agreed to talk to me. seriously.

i dont know what to do. i love her. i truly truly do. i always have. Sense I was around fifteen. i never ever forgot her. i never stopped loving her. sigh....now i dunno what to do.

i love her but i know jacqui has to go or we cant make it.....we all deserve better than this. really...i dunno. Sad
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