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how do i talk about it??

 
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whit4510
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Joined: 02 May 2010
Posts: 2

PostPosted: Sun May 02, 2010 5:03 am    Post subject: how do i talk about it?? Reply with quote

When i was younger, I was abused by a kid that was only a couple years older than me. We went to the same babysitter, but were the only kids there most of the time. This went on for a couple years. I had pretty much forgot about it until I started seeing him. I work at a grocery store and he comes in a lot. I get freaked out every time I see him and have to run to the bathroom to avoid having a panic attack in front of everybody. About 6 months ago, I finally told someone what happened. It was my pastor's wife. She told her husband about it and I tried talking to him. It was very weird trying to talk to a guy about it, and I didn't really open up. I have tried talking to his mother also. She was abused by her family as a child, but I couldnt talk then either. It is affecting a lot of things in my life and I want to get help. I finally agreed to talk to a counselor about what happened, but I freaked when I met with her and I couldn't talk. No matter how much I think I want to talk about it so I can get past this, I freeze up. I have never dated because the thought of being with a guy freaks me out. I have started talking to this great guy, and I want to be able to date him without freaking out every time I am with him.

I guess my question is, how do I open up about this so I can move on???
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smileygirl
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Joined: 22 Jul 2008
Posts: 375
Location: Houston, Tx

PostPosted: Mon May 10, 2010 3:56 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi! I was molested in childhood from multiple family members. I've been with my current counselor for a while. He knows quite a bit, but I'm stuck and don't know how to talk about it. I'm sorry that this doesn't answer your question, but know you're not alone. We're here. Would it help you to write about what happened and share it with someone to get the open communication started?
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Marmor
newbie 1st class
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Joined: 03 May 2010
Posts: 24

PostPosted: Mon May 10, 2010 5:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Similar to you, I was molested for years by someone within a decade of my age. I didn't tell any family members until ages later. (Decades in my case) I still have not told my mother. Finding the RIGHT person to talk to is difficult. I'm not anti-male, but, I doubt that I could talk to a male counselor about this. (especially as I was sent to a male shrink while I was being molested for a few years, and never mentioned it to him!) Support, as in someone to talk to is like shoes, one size does NOT fit all. You have to find someone whom
YOU can open up to. Actually, I just told a long-term platonic male friend of mine what happened. It turns out that his girlfriend is an adult survivor of childhood abuse as well. I bumbled into someone to speak to. (Note, my degree is in a male field, thus, most of my friends are male) This forum is a safe place, as you are faceless, thus less shame. You don't have to make eye contact.

I am still looking for an in person adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse group, we'll see if I find one.

Hang in there.
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