how can i make my husband understand

[lana378]

I have told my husband over the last two years of my SA and how it messed me up sexually. How it contributed to my affairs which have now long ended (and i know it doesn't excuse them), and he hates me. It compounds how badly I feel about myself. If you are supposed to be honest and true in marriage, which i tried to be by coming clean, how can i help him? I'm so ashamed but i don't feel i should be abandoned either. Can someone offer advice.

[YankeeBob]

I am not sure it is possible to explain insanity to some who has never struggled with it.

Is it possible that your husband hates the behaviour that you had in the past and are now free of ?

Trust is a very complex matter. It can take years to develop. And one confession, no matter how open and honestly motiviated, can destroy much of it.

When you say "how can I help him " ....can you express your question another way so we can understand your train of thought ?

As for abandonment.....this is central to our recovery. We are seeking the support and love of others who will not abandon us no matter what.

I look forward to your response.

Take care. Be well.
_________________
Courage to Change