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on-going relationship with abuser

 
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nativegirl
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Joined: 24 Feb 2010
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 24, 2010 7:01 am    Post subject: on-going relationship with abuser Reply with quote

I am an adult survivor. From the age of 2 or 3 my father touched me-nothing else-just touched me - he called it "tickling" and around age 4 or 6 I told my mom about it and he promised her he would stop. But he didn't. I told her again....useless. It's not so bad, he only touched you. Anyways, I was told that I should tell him to stop....it was my responsibility. So I did and he would stop, but there was inappropriate behavior even by the time I was 18 & went off to college. My mom stayed with him-all this time. She felt sorry for him because he was sexually molested by a school teacher. I don't see him much, but I feel so angry at him when I do see him. He apologized, took responsibility for his actions, but I just don't want to see him ever again and I have dealt with him for 40 years now. I want to not have to see him ever again, but my mom is still with him. Sometimes I feel like such a mean person staying angry at him but if I didn't have to see him maybe I could let go of my anger. I'm angry at my mom too for staying with him. I have 2 young children and they have met my dad, but I worry about "exposing" them to him. i don't take the risks of ever leaving them alone with him. he's not a likable person anyway. i wish i could cut him out of my life, but i feel mean-spirited just saying that.
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