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trusting is SO hard!

 
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mwendy
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Joined: 10 Apr 2009
Posts: 83

PostPosted: Fri Apr 24, 2009 4:57 am    Post subject: trusting is SO hard! Reply with quote

I am finding that trusting people is the hardest thing in the world for me to do and has been for most of my life. Recent events have made my ability to trust that much more difficult though. I have pushed mulitple people away including my own husband b/c of my lack of trust. I HATE THIS! Any advice anyone..?
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ivonne
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Joined: 09 Jun 2004
Posts: 5874
Location: the netherlands

PostPosted: Mon Apr 27, 2009 2:10 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I have found that the ability to trust someone is directly related to my ability to trust myself to handle the consequences if someone should be found to be untrustworthy.

So before you trust someone, anyone, ask yourself what could happen. In other words, be prepared.

I've since learned that words can't hurt me. I can be as blunt and truthful and sharing and open up my heart, soul and mind to anyone I choose. I choose to believe that the other has no power over me and indeed they do not.

If and when the words of someone else hurt me, it's because somewhere inside I believe them to be true. So i deal with their words and I'm thankful to be able to confront this truth about me. Sometimes it hurts.

Like the other day someone told me: "the major thing that is standing between you and success is that you want someone else to do it for you."
That was like "wham" smack in my face. But true. True in a way that means I can see it, own it, recognize it as my pattern. Look lovingly at myself, knowing that this is my pitfall and move beyond it.

I don't know if this is helpful to you.

I do gauge whether someone can be trusted when it's about stuff that can really go awry. Like if I am lending someone money or something. I share my truth with everyone because I don't believe the truth can hurt me.

Ivonne
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We dont see things as they are,
we see them as we are.
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