Community Forums
Forum Index FAQFAQ SearchSearch MemberlistMemberlist UsergroupsUsergroups ProfileProfile Log in to check your private messagesLog in to check your private messages Log inLog in RegisterRegister
My counsellor and me..

Post new topic   Reply to topic    S&F's Forum Index -> Intimacy Issues
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message

Joined: 20 Apr 2009
Posts: 3

PostPosted: Mon Apr 20, 2009 10:02 am    Post subject: My counsellor and me.. Reply with quote

Hi, I am new here. This is my first post. I was first raped when I was 13 and this continued until I was 16. I think the assaults started when I was three but thankfully can't remember it all. I have had many unsuccesful relationships with men/boys. I am now in my twenties and still cannot get close to males or let them touch me unless I have been taking something or have been drinking. I have a gr8 counsellor, who I have recently started seeing, more as a 'I have to see her' court order thing, due to stuff and self harm episode *sigh*. Anyway sometimes she hugs me and we sit together and she just lets me get close and she holds me. I feel safe and I think it will help me work through my intimacy issues with men. I know it will take a long time but I am working on being able to accept good touch and figure out my boundaries and be the one in control. I think this is one way of helping, having someone you really trust hold you. But you have to want to do it and feel okay about it and the person, whoever it is needs to ask you if it's okay first because otherwise it could feel like another violation...good luck peeps!!
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Junior Member
Junior Member

Joined: 12 Jul 2006
Posts: 75
Location: Melbourne , Australia

PostPosted: Sun Apr 26, 2009 3:26 pm    Post subject: welcome to this site. Reply with quote

I like others admire your courage in speaking out.

And seeking to find a new, healthier life.

Fear of Intimacy is a very complex issue. Men have it as much as women do.

You may find it helpful to explore with your counsellor or anyone else you trust the issues of

1) Emotional triggers


2) Boundaries.

For myself my emotional triggers were loneliness, boredom and fatigue. Until I came to deal with taking IMMEDIATE HEALTHY ACTION when I was feeling these triggers most of my life was a train wreck.

Does this make any sense for you ?

Take care. Be well.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail MSN Messenger

Joined: 18 May 2009
Posts: 4

PostPosted: Mon May 18, 2009 11:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I am a 42 year old male. I was abused by a man when I was 5. I am confronting fear of intimacy issues for the first time in my life. I am a virgin as a result of my fears. I was 41 when I sought help. You are further along than you think by getting help now rather than waiting like I did.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic    S&F's Forum Index -> Intimacy Issues All times are GMT + 4 Hours
Page 1 of 1

Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum

Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2002 phpBB Group

Site by Flashfire Designs
Copyright 1993-2003, Survivors & Friends

Help Out
Make a Donation Order Flowers S&F Bookstore
About Us
General Info Staff Mission Statement Contact Us
Awards Web Rings