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The Fight against Video Voyeurism

 
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Have you ever been the victim of video voyeurism?
Yes
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 0%  [ 0 ]
No
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 100%  [ 8 ]
Total Votes : 8

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knelson
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Joined: 06 Dec 2003
Posts: 144
Location: U.S.

PostPosted: Wed Mar 03, 2004 12:09 am    Post subject: The Fight against Video Voyeurism Reply with quote

Video Voyeurism--with the increase of technology--is becoming an increasing problem in this country.

I was watching the John Walsh show today, March 2nd, 2004, and the topic that he was covering was video voyeurism. The victims of video voyeurism on the show have experienced the same violation as those who have suffered from sexual abuse--feeling violated, feeling that you aren't safe, feelings of paranoia, and many other emotions that are typically associated with rape and other forms of sexual abuse.

Unfortunately, the perpetrators often get off with a slap on the wrist--anywhere from 5 years probation (no jail time) to only 6 months in jail, because "peeping" is only a Misdemeanor. A year ago, they worked (and succeeded) at getting Video Voyeurism to become a felony in the state of New York. However, their goal is that every state in the country would also change the laws to making this a felony, and he asked those watching to visit his site to help aid this cause. So, I wanted to post this for anyone interested.

As of today, March 2nd, the link to the page regarding this issue is:

http://www.johnwalsh.tv/html/topics/today.html

In the future, you may be able to find it in the archives section, etc., by going to the domain http://www.johnwalsh.tv, and looking for anything to do with Video Voyeurism. On the page there are links to information on how you can help aid in making this a felony.

Kevin


Last edited by knelson on Wed Mar 03, 2004 11:12 pm; edited 2 times in total
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knelson
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Joined: 06 Dec 2003
Posts: 144
Location: U.S.

PostPosted: Wed Mar 03, 2004 11:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The link to this section on the site is now:

http://www.johnwalsh.tv/cgi-bin/topics/today.cgi?id=386

Kevin
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Meena
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Joined: 08 Jul 2008
Posts: 58

PostPosted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 10:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I was filmed by a guy in a group of friends while on holiday.

He would do tracking shots specifically following me more than the others. He'd asked me out through his friend and I'd told him honestly that I was already seeing someone (oh, ok, a bad case of unrequited love). He would film me getting in and out of the pool in my swimsuit. I took to towels and sarongs. At one point he filmed me walking on the path towards the pool and I was so self conscious I hid behind a tree and made a joke of showing only my arms and legs.

Although my actions were shy and embarrassed, he later showed the tape on boys nights over beer and it gained a reputation. The girls in our group became jealous and the boys objectified me. If I spoke to one of them there would be sniggers and nudges in the background. Perhaps if I were Angelina Jolie I would handle it but I'm just average; if anything I'm mousy and pale and unpolished.

I think I should be flattered but I honestly believe it was just because I was the new girl to the group and I refused to be distracted by male attention. I was later raped by one of them.

I've now learned that the behaviour I learned as a child to survive abuse may give out wrong signals. The shy appealing look in my eyes tells them I'm submissive. The fear I hold that they will become angry with me stops me firmly saying no, this is not ok. The fact that I hope to be able to trust someone and be loved makes me seem undemanding. I am trying to change this behaviour and speak up what is ok behaviour.
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knelson
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Joined: 06 Dec 2003
Posts: 144
Location: U.S.

PostPosted: Wed Jul 16, 2008 1:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey Meena,

Sounds like you have a fear of setting boundaries with people. This is very common among survivors, so you aren't alone. However, you will want to learn to say 'no' and set healthy boundaries for yourself. If something makes you uncomfortable, you should never be afraid to say 'no'. If your "friends" can't accept 'no' from you, then it is a clue that they aren't truly your friends. Here are some book recommendations as well as their descriptions...I've heard a lot of good things about the book, "Boundaries" in particular:


Boundaries
Having clear boundaries is essential to a healthy, balanced lifestyle. A boundary is a personal property line that marks those things for which we are responsible. In other words, boundaries define who we are and who we are not. Boundaries impact all areas of our lives: Physical boundaries help us determine who may touch us, mental boundaries give us the freedom to have our own thoughts, emotional boundaries help us to deal with our own emotions and spiritual boundaries help us to distinguish God's will from our own.

Another book by the same author about choosing to be around safe people:

Safe People
Finding safe people provides the foundation for building healthy, lasting relationships. Here's how to identify safe people.


I found this book in the S&F bookstore resource by searching for the word "boundaries":

Learning to Say No
Do you have difficulty saying "No!" to the demands of others? If so, this book is for you. Learn how to set boundaries and limits with your partner, children, family, friends and even the boss. Dr. Wills-Brandon will show you how to care for yourself in your relationships. This book was a Publishers Weekly bestseller.

Kevin
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Looking to the future is not pretending that the past never happened; it is accepting the past for what it isa part of us...but remembering that it does not define who we are...
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Meena
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Joined: 08 Jul 2008
Posts: 58

PostPosted: Thu Jul 24, 2008 10:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank you for this feedback. I appreciate the signposting to help me find the resources that will support me to make the changes I can make. It will help me reduce the risk of things going wrong in the future yet be 'out there, living life' which sometimes I don't feel able to.

This is a great forum for expressing the things that I can never say in person and it being ok. The more I feel I've spoken aloud, the more I feel I'm ok around other people and though I don't have to say anything, that doesn't matter anymore. I have said things here that I've never let be known even with my counselor.

I hope other people feel the support this forum gives as an outlet for all the things we feel we can't say to the people around as everyday.

Best wishes to all!
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