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Internal Beatings ***may trigger, self beatings/harm***

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Senior Member

Joined: 25 Jun 2006
Posts: 648
Location: Smile Town(north of shitville)

PostPosted: Wed Aug 30, 2006 3:48 am    Post subject: Internal Beatings ***may trigger, self beatings/harm*** Reply with quote

I can't hold this in
I can feel my control coming to an end
and I'm about to bust
The hinges on my control door
are starting to rust
and that's when i hit the floor

screaming and yelling
hurting and crying
banging my fists on the floor
feeling and hearing
them break
and i scream in pain
but i need this explosion

i thought you'd leave
thought i'd get peace
but i guess that wasn't right
so i feel the pain again tonight
and then i feel myself give
and i burst out, thinking i wont live

bringing out the rage
thrusting it into the wall
with my broken fists
but i don't care
i need this gone
break the wall, making a hole
and i scream
as the powerful wave
huge wave of rage
bursts through me

i think i'm done
but then here you come
looking like nothing happened
and i feel it rise again
and i can't comprehend
how you can be like that
so normal and not regret
what you did
i'm about to bust my lid

taking my fury out
on another thing
kicking and yelling
until my foot breaks
and i hit with my fists
until the skin busts
and i bleed

you smile at me
and i feel the rage
longing to break free
to burst out of my body, the cage
i can't hold it in
here we go again

i slam myself into the wall
and punch my eye
rip at my hair
scratch my thigh
throw my body down the stairs
and smash my head into the floor
run into the shut door
and slit my arms
cut open my chest
and show my black heart
cut into my neck
and burn wrist
set a burning match on my face
letting the scars rise

If you looked inside
This is what i'd look like
so beaten and hurt
not seeing what i'm worth
look at me
see how i'm beaten
this is what i do
when i refuse
to let out how i feel
even these beatings are real
weird human being
giving herself
Internal Beatings
It's gonna be alright,
it's gonna be okay
just hold on tight
and let it all go away. - Melissa Etheridge, Mercy
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