That Lying S.O.B

[Roseless]

Did he forget? Did he really forget and wipe it from his memory? Did I make it up? #$$% NO! my dad was talking to my therapist and i was there...know what he said? can you guess? "I talked to his therapist and he said that there were things that he was admitting to me but not admitting to in the meeting." ohhh....oh that makes me feel so #$$% great... I knew it! I so knew it!

He was lying. Plain #$$% lying right in front of my parents and me! I mean, hello! Wake up and see what the #$$% you're doing! He had his #*$# chance and he blew it! I was starting to think "You know, maybe he did forget. Maybe he seriously has no idea. I know I've wiped things from my memory."

Like hell he forgot. That perv just didn't want to say it! he's a #$$% pussy! He commited the crime and he should stand up for it and not put his little sister in a worse position. Says he cares, says he's sorry, that he wants to take it back...well, what do I have to say to that? #$$% YOU!

What the hell was he thinking?! We all know. I had accepted it. I #*$# well know what he did to me. He knows too. We all #$$% know and he still sits there and lies?! God #*$# him!

I'm so done being nice about this. And me being nice (those other two rants) this is much much worse. I can't even #$$% say it all.

I swear that...ooooooooo....i just wanna rip his #$$% heart out. i hope that someone runs over him...beats and rapes him so he knows what it's like. the #$$% little pervert deserves to be dead. I'll kill him if i get the chance. He's keeping me from doing so much that i deserve to do.

he's changed everything. Half of my freinds at school are only my friends because i am the poor raped girl...not one of them is my friend because i'm nice. No, they are because i was hurt and they want their goddamn name up in lights.

just like Alley. That #$$% whore was just as bad as Elise. They both hurt me...Elise spread rumors, making me want to die more than ever. Telling people i was making it up for attention. Then turned around and acted like she was my friend. She told people that she was raped by her brother...why do I not believe her? SHE'S AN ADOPTED ONLY CHILD! #$$% hilarious isn't it?

and Alley. God...i used to think she was great. a wonderful friend. again, i was blind. she was the one that told my mother, her parents had called the cops...and i thought she cared. then i found out she was #$$% telling lies too. not to mention that she was laughing behind my back. Turning in my suicide note confession thing...can you say hero? well #$$% that. She wanted her name up in lights. She wanted to get attention. She #$$% lied to me about her cutting and being raped when she was little. how could someone do that?! when they know someone is in danger of losing their life because that person is being beaten and raped, yet all she does is think of a lie to tell the person?! Sure, she had my trust and then ruined it when i found out she was telling people lies.

First off...i hate them. I loath them entirely. They deserve to get whatever bad things happen to them. Now, how in the hell am i supossed to know who is really my friends? i dont. i dont #$$% know because they could be lying to me. Just trying to be the savior. ha, i'm my own savior. I dont need them to try and help/save me.

Want your name in lights? then #$$% get shot and die...Murder will get you on the front page of the newspaper...Anything else?! oh you wanna ask me dumb questions?! then #$$% do it. wanna make fun of me for suicide attempts?! Then do it. i'll push you down the goddamn stairs...

how much more do i have to say? want me dead, then i'm #$$% dead!
_________________
It's gonna be alright,
it's gonna be okay
just hold on tight
and let it all go away. - Melissa Etheridge, Mercy

[Chispita]

(((((((((((((Roseless)))))))))))))

That's it. Let your anger out. Cry outloud. Let the world know you're ANGRY!!! You have every right to be.

I too have a hard time trusting people. In fact, I hardly trust anyone, ever. Not something I'm proud of and I know I have to work on that. Perhaps we can work on it together.

People can sure be cruel, heartless, and immature. I'm sorry that your so called "friends" betrayed you in that way. I'm even more sorry that your s.o.b. brother is such a coward and consciously chooses to lie, therefore, hurting you yet again. But you know what, hun, it's true: "What goes around, comes around." Don't wish harm on people. Let life takes its course, and you'll see, that there's no need for it nor that it's healthy for you. And you know the old saying: "Keep your friends close, but your enemies even closer"??? (And yes, I'm a quotation encyclopedia if you must ) Don't take it literally... No, I'm not saying you should start hanging out with your s.o.b. brother or those immature girls from school. It's more like... you have power by knowing who your "enemies" are because you can then prevent an otherwise unexpected 'strike.' So I'm probably not making any sense, but hey, at least I'm distracting you, am I not?

And about what you said,

[Roseless]

you are very distracting...

[Uncertain]

I wish I had something profounding insightful to say roseless. But I dont. All I can say is that really sucks, and that I am sorry that everything seems/is so crappy for you right now. its ok to be angery and don't ever appolgize for your feelings. I wish i could give you one of those bobbel dolls. you knwo the punching bag clowns, you hit, and it bounces back. I LOOOOOOVVVEEEEE those. Soooo therepeutic.

[Roseless]

i thnk thos r funny
_________________
It's gonna be alright,
it's gonna be okay
just hold on tight
and let it all go away. - Melissa Etheridge, Mercy

[Uncertain]

they are, another reason they help. I think they should be standard issue when we enter junior high. At your first day of junior high, when they giveyou your schedual they should also give you a nice new punching clown bouncy thing. I can see them saying, "your gonna need this." Because, man do you ever. And punching them isnt bad for your criminal and school record.

[Roseless]

lol...i'm in the 10th grade so u know.
_________________
It's gonna be alright,
it's gonna be okay
just hold on tight
and let it all go away. - Melissa Etheridge, Mercy

[Jane_R]

Good blast, Roseless! You are right he's a *$%*&5 coward and liar. You are brave and so far ahead of him, it's unreal. (That does not mean you have to be kind or charitable to him--no, uh uh, no.)

Keep your head up. people at school probably haven't the faintest idea how to deal with a situation like this and they try to make you embarassed because that is their feeling.

you are doing great.

J

[Roseless]

ya, haven't you noticed i'm good at blasting people?

you should see me at lunch. me do that just for fun and laughs. I always win
_________________
It's gonna be alright,
it's gonna be okay
just hold on tight
and let it all go away. - Melissa Etheridge, Mercy

[Susan Sto-Helit]

hi roseless, my name is susan and i am quite a bit older than you, but i wanted to congratulate you for your anger.sometimes getting mad is the only way, i find my self angry many many times, because no one stood up for me or called the police when my uncle touched/abused me, i am mad to this day, and i don't trust anyone either, you are a strong young lady, and you give me strength by knowing that we might feel alone, but reaching out through our pain and anger will help, you are not alone, keep up that strength that you are cultivating for yourself

thankyou for sharing your story and listening to my reply,
susan
_________________
I do not believe...I know...

C.G. Jung