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  Topic: naming the perpetrator
ivonne

Replies: 23
Views: 45202

PostForum: General Issues   Posted: Tue Apr 24, 2018 3:58 pm   Subject: good and bad in everything
There is good and bad in everything. The good part of #metoo is that finally people are waking up to realize child sexual abuse is everywhere.

The bad part is the 'naming and shaming' that is going ...
  Topic: do you ever talk about your past to potential new partners?
ivonne

Replies: 8
Views: 30231

PostForum: How to Talk About It   Posted: Tue Oct 29, 2013 4:03 am   Subject: Learning to talk
It's important that we learn how to talk about it.

MisRable's tip is good: without naming the perpetrator it's a little easier to tell about it.

Also, generally there's no need to go into detai ...
  Topic: I lost the one I loved to this.......ABUSE!
ivonne

Replies: 2
Views: 8439

PostForum: General Issues   Posted: Tue Oct 29, 2013 3:58 am   Subject: I hear you
I can tell you're hurting.

You're so brave and true for honoring her wishes. I wish I could tell you it will all work out. Truth is, it might not.

Meanwhile: how are you holding up?

warmly,
...
  Topic: Dating a Survivor - specific questions about sexual intimacy
ivonne

Replies: 2
Views: 8601

PostForum: Parents, Partners, and Loved Ones   Posted: Tue Feb 19, 2013 11:28 pm   Subject: tough call
Hi,

It's a tough call and it could go either way: He might heal from having a loving relationship, in fact, that might just be the thing.

As for the role play: open communication, you know the d ...
  Topic: do you ever talk about your past to potential new partners?
ivonne

Replies: 8
Views: 30231

PostForum: How to Talk About It   Posted: Tue Feb 19, 2013 11:23 pm   Subject: do you ever talk about your past to potential new partners?
The more often you tell about it, the easier it becomes.
It's become clear to me that I "burden" the other person with it unfairly if I don't tell and tell fairly early in the relationship ...
  Topic: my 2 sons
ivonne

Replies: 2
Views: 8181

PostForum: Parents, Partners, and Loved Ones   Posted: Fri Feb 08, 2013 8:26 pm   Subject: tough
Hi theirmom,

Wow, that sounds like a tough situation to encounter. I must congratulate you on your willingness to help both your sons, even if you are experiencing anger towards the elder one.

...
  Topic: Reclaiming Sexuality
ivonne

Replies: 1
Views: 6636

PostForum: Intimacy Issues   Posted: Fri Feb 08, 2013 8:14 pm   Subject: relax
Seems like a strange advise perhaps when you're so obviously stressed out, but really... try to relax.

Reclaiming your own sexuality is a matter of time, of taking the time to heal the abuse and ma ...
  Topic: do you ever talk about your past to potential new partners?
ivonne

Replies: 8
Views: 30231

PostForum: How to Talk About It   Posted: Fri Feb 08, 2013 8:06 pm   Subject: Better sooner than later
I have and would again tell any potential partner before getting seriously involved. I am open and upfront about it and I know my limits, my pitfalls and I also tell people what I expect of them to do ...
  Topic: My Daughter
ivonne

Replies: 2
Views: 8176

PostForum: Parents, Partners, and Loved Ones   Posted: Mon Oct 15, 2012 2:26 am   Subject: My Daughter
As Kema said: you're going to need some time to process this. Numbness is an effective strategy, esspecially since your daughter has told you that you being highly emotional isn't helping her.

It' ...
  Topic: Need some guidance
ivonne

Replies: 1
Views: 6928

PostForum: Parents, Partners, and Loved Ones   Posted: Mon Oct 15, 2012 2:20 am   Subject: your feelings matter
I ask myself often, how much longer am I willing to go through this? What is the guarantee that things will be better when she works this all out and can be "stable" again? And, of course, h ...
 
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