Victims No More

by Dr. Barbara Sinor

We create our reality from what we know; our held beliefs, values, and accepted self-image. However, our outmoded childhood belief systems lock us into a repetitious cycle of patterns and habitual processes. Many times, we find these patterns creating negative outcomes. You can learn to re-create your own reality by discovering these negative producing patterns, or scripts, which were accepted in childhood. You can accept that you are a co-creator of your reality and choose to re-create your past experiences, perceptions, and beliefs thereby shaping a reality by choice.

Your inner child can become a messenger, a teacher, who brings long awaited information and instruction regarding the origin of your present beliefs, values, and motivations. You may become aware of hidden concepts and blocked emotions which can make it possible to re-create negative childhood conditioning and abuse into a reality of healing and recovery. When we let go of the old past programming learned all too well in childhood, can we begin to re-create our lives into the successes we desire. Along with your own inner child, you can be lead to the basic reasons for current blockages to your successful recovery from childhood conditioning and/or abuse and trauma. Your actions and thoughts, beliefs and values are based upon the awareness and understanding of your present reality. If you truly become aware through self-discovery, you can proceed to heal through self-recovery, for in the final analysis we all heal ourselves.

We are constantly learning and testing ourselves and our reality. There is no finish line. There is no final test or red ribbon signifying an end to the race for recovery. It is an on-going race. If you were a victim of childhood abuse, you are a survivor, as I am. Much has been written about child abuse and the survivors of it. When I was counseling young women in a local women's medical facility during the 1970s, I became familiar with the story of our physically, emotionally, and spiritually abused female population. For five intensive years, I sat and listened to literally thousands of young women (twelve years old being the youngest) who had accidentally gotten pregnant, or were terrified that they had. They shared their stories of incest, date rape, and psychological abuse.

These young women had grown up in the enlightened decades of the late 1960s but were not enlightened about their own bodies or their rights to choose what to do with them. Now is the time to explore your past childhood conditioning and experiences in which you felt you were a victim. Today is the day to set yourself free from self-limitations and constricting emotions from being a victim of childhood abuse whether physical, psychological, emotional, or spiritual.

We have all been victims in childhood in one way or another. The important point to remember and take action upon is how, as adults, we have the tools and the personal power to choose to stop being victimized by others, or society. As an adult you have the power to control and direct your life and release this negating role. Let us stand tall and proclaim we will be "victims no more" nor allow our children to be. Let us heal ourselves and let go of our own victimhood, thereby, instructing society that we will not tolerate the abuse and mistreatment of our children any longer.


  • Dr. Barbara Sinor has been a therapist dealing with childhood sexual abuse/incest for over twenty-five years. She is the author of four books and is currently working on a fifth titled Tales of Addiction. Please visit her web site:
    Excerpt taken from the book Gifts From the Child Within by Dr. Barbara Sinor.
    Copyright © by Barbara Sinor, Ph.D. All rights reserved.