Survivors & Friends

Bringing More Significance to Your Life

21
Jan

Pretend that you are 75 years old and that you are writing a letter of advice to yourself on how to live your remaining years with meaning, value and significance.

This was an assignment presented by my therapist to the support group that I was part of last year. The following list is a combination of the things we found to be important to us.

Either before or after reading this list, perhaps you could take a few moments and write down the advice you would give to yourself.

  • Bring more meaning, value, and significance into your relationship with others.
    • Draw close to your spouse-spend time just listening to him/her. Reveal more of who you are. Be kinder to him/her. Invite him/her to be more open.
    • Love your family. Spend time each week with children and grandchildren. When you are with them, watch and listen. Share more of who you are-really with them.
    • Smile, kiss and hug more. Let people see more of the real you.
    • Keep in better touch with people you really care about. Love as much as you can. Nourish the relationships you have and want.
    • Be sympathetic to children.
    • Respect your children more.
    • Help someone else in their personal journey with the same support and encouragement you have received on your journey.
    • When relationship trouble arises, ask yourself: “What part of this is my responsibility?” “How can I help resolve it?” (Never repay evil for evil.)
    • Express love every day, especially to those in your family. Reach out to “feed and water” your garden of friends. Touch the suffering of yourself and others with love and mercy.
    • Leave this world a legacy of love, kindness, and a sense of who you are that others may follow in your path and find who they are.
    • Appreciate and allow for differences in opinions, beliefs, likes, dislikes. Don’t be threatened by them but use these differences as an opportunity to challenge your own set of beliefs, etc.
  • Bring more meaning, value, and significance into your relationship with God
    • Begin each day in prayer, with more thought put in listening and observing. Talk less and listen more. Develop a heart of thanksgiving and gratitude for the good things you have. Be persistent on your spiritual quest. Be authentic in pursuing your spiritual identity and destiny.
  • Bring more meaning, value, and significance into your personal life
    • Value, enjoy, and experience life. Value your experiences and your senses while they still serve you. Drink in the sight of a sunset, smell the flowers, feel the rain on your face, listen to the sound of children playing, experience a magnificent mountain view, the harmony of music, a crackling fire, the sky at daybreak, delight in children’s smiles, the feel of a hug, holding your child’s hand. Do more of those things that bring you joy.
    • Make each day count by appreciating it as a great gift whether it is filled with activity or contemplation.
    • Extend yourself. Keep yourself challenged and growing by writing out specific and attainable goals for life, for self improvement, for helping others.
    • Challenge your mind daily by reading the great masters, a deep book, an opposing point of view, or by asking yourself and others difficult questions.
    • Spend time each day with your crafts or hobbies. Allow your mind time to be creative. Take time to just sit and stare out the window. Observe your garden more closely in all different seasons.
    • Read classics, science fiction, love stories. Enjoy each book for itself.
    • Take good care of your body every day by getting good sleep, good nutrition, moderate exercise, fresh air and sunshine.
    • Experience the benefit of touch from another human being.
    • Do something fun or frivolous every day.
    • Do your journal.
    • Continue your journey of life as a human being.
    • Listen to more music.
    • Relax, let go, enjoy life, don’t be perfect, don’t over-control things and people.
    • Grow your garden. Plant lots of flowers.
    • Redecorate.
    • Be happy now.
    • Share.
    • Breathe.
    • Bathe in healing waters.
    • Look at your life positively.
    • Don’t criticize–especially yourself.
    • Say “no” more often.
    • Really think about what you want and go for it.
    • Risk a little more.
    • Sit more, stroll more, breathe slower-linger.
    • Change bad situations faster.
    • Wear more comfortable clothes.
    • Buy things you really admire. Don’t sacrifice so much, but buy less quantity, more quality.
    • Stay in nicer motels.
    • Order what you really want from a menu.
    • Find a way to like what you do.
    • Let some things slide so you don’t internalize bad things people say or do to you.
    • Spend more time outside.
    • Don’t go to obligatory social events-only go if you truly want to.
    • Trust your gut feeling more.
    • Express yourself.
    • Choose your battles wisely.
    • Go to the doctor sooner. Don’t suffer in silence.
    • Buy really good shoes no matter what the cost.
    • Find your special niche in life and become the best you can be with your talents, gifts, etc.
    • Face your demons and conquer them

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